Apr 25, 2017

Vaginal Discharge Early Signs And Symptoms Of Pregnancy

  • How soon do you get   symptoms? How early can   symptoms start?

Thick white vaginal discharge and milky white secretion in pregnancy

Vaginal secretion associated with __pregnancy is usually thick white or milky white, it can also be clear or slightly milky, but rarely if ever is typical __pregnancy secretion red or yellow. It is rarely associated with an infection, especially if it does not smell. Read HERE MORE about this vaginal dicharge and what other causes it could have. 

Normal Vaginal Discharge During Pregnancy

For the first two trimesters, thick, white mucus will often be noticed in the panties. This is called leucorrhea and every pregnant woman will see this vaginal discharge during pregnancy. The leucorrhea will have a slight smell and be visibly noticeable. The pregnant women can wear a maxi pad, pantiliner or disposable underwear if she is concerned about the vaginal discharge.

Tampons and vaginal douche are not recommended during pregnancy. Tampons are not sterile and infection is not something a mom wants to introduce to the unborn fetus or the reproductive system. Douche, as well, can rinse away the healthy bacteria of the vagina that prevent infection. With those bacteria gone, infection can grow quickly and could cause pregnancy complications.

Not so Normal Vaginal Discharge During Pregnancy

There are times when infections do become a part of a woman's pregnancy. These can include vaginal yeast and other infections. The symptoms of a vaginal yeast infection include green or yellow vaginal discharge during pregnancy, itching and foul smell. If a pregnant woman notices any of these changes in vaginal discharge during pregnancy, the obstetrician needs to be notified immediately. Do NOT take matters into your own hands and try to treat the infection with over the counter products unless directed to do so by your Ob / Gyn.

Thick Creamy White Discharge, or Milky White Vaginal Discharge

A thick creamy white milky vaginal discharge may appear frightening to many women. It could also be the first sign of pregnancy. In most cases, this type of discharge is perfectly normal – especially if it’s odorless.  Whether you are pregnant or or not, this vaginal discharge during early pregnancy is common and harmless.

CAUSES OF THICK MILKY WHITE VAGINAL pregnancy DISCHARGE

Thick milky white discharge during early pregnancy is called leukorrhea and exists due to increasing and varying estrogen levels. Estrogen increases blood flow to the pelvic area of the body, which subsequently leads to an increase in mucus discharge.

IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT VAGINAL DISCHARGE

Vaginal discharge like thick milky white pregnancy discharge is usually normal. Reddish or brown or greenish discharge, especially if it's foul smelling, is usually not normal.

 

When a woman ovulates, vaginal discharge may leak onto her underwear or protective pads. During pregnancy the look of the discharge may be the same, but the volume is much larger. Throughout pregnancy, thick white milky vaginal discharge is common and may even increase as the pregnancy moves into the latter months. Toward the end of the pregnancy, a large amount of white discharge may be passed with a bloody tinge; this is usually the mucus plug releasing from the cervix.


Treatment for Vaginal Discharge

First you need to make sure the discharge you observe is normal. Your doctor is your best source to help you with this. Pads and panty liners are safe for use during pregnancy. No tampons should be used to catch vaginal discharge during pregnancy or after birth for at least the first menstrual cycle.

Some discharge may have a slightly fishy odor which is concerning for women. If the discharge is fishy or foul smelling, it's best to get an examination. Washing the vaginal outside area, the labia, can help curb the scent associated with vaginal discharge. At no point should a pregnant woman use a douche to cleanse the vagina. Further, wipes and vaginal washes often contain perfumes, which can irritate sensitive pregnancy skin. These treatments can also change the pH of the vagina and vaginal area, which can lead to irritation and breakouts. Therefore, wipes and and vaginal washes should not be used.

The process of implantation

Pregnancy begins when the egg is ejected from the ovary during ovulation and then is fertilized by the sperm inside the fallopian tube. This usually happens within 12-24 hours after ovulation. The fertilized egg then travels down towards the uterus, increasing in size and cells along the way. Right after fertilization, when there is only one cell, it's called a "zygote", and as it divides it becomes first a "blastomere" until it reaches about 30 cells, and about 5 days later, shortly before implantation, it's called a "blastocyst". Only after implantation is the pregnancy hormone hCG excreted into the blood. Only when hCG is present in the blood stream can typical pregenancy symptoms like vaginal discharge appear.

When do pregnancy symptoms appear?

Small amounts of hCG, the pregnancy hormone, enter the blood stream several days after implantation, about 8-10 days after ovulation and before a missed period. Therefore, most symptoms do not typically appear until the hCG has reached sufficient levels, about 1-2 weeks after you miss your period (3-4 weeks after ovulation, or 2-3 weeks after implantation). Though these may suggest that a woman is pregnant, a positive pregnancy test is needed to confirm a pregnancy.

Vaginal secretions and discharge as sign and symptom of early pregnancy

Thick or milky white vaginal discharge or secretion in early pregnancy, usually around the time of a missed menstrual period, is often among the first typical early pregnancy symptoms.  Women commonly notice an increase in vaginal discharge, especially if an early pregnancy is likely.The other typical early pregnancy signs and symptoms are nausea and tiredness and missing a menstrual period. 

Most women are not aware that vaginal discharge, especially if it's thick and milky white, can be among the first signs and symptoms of pregnancy. This is because the changing hormones of pregnancy can stimulate the vagina to increase production of this vaginal secretion. 


Not every woman experiences this type of vaginal secretion in early pregnancy, however, so not seeing the white, milky secretion does not mean that you are not pregnant.

Vaginal secretion as sign of ovulation and fertility

Vaginal secrtion can also be observed as an indicator of ovulation. Leading up to ovulation, cervical mucus becomes rubbery in texture and will stretch between two fingers. This is known as egg-white cervical mucus or EWCM. The thick, sticky nature of this fertile cervical mucus holds onto semen and helps sperm travel safely through the vagina to the egg.

Third trimester vaginal discharge during pregnancy

It is during the third trimester that women often notice their vaginal discharge a bit more. This is not because of a change necessarily, but because of the impending shedding of the mucus plug. This plug is a stopper of sorts for the cervix and when it is released that could signal the last phase of pregnancy before birth.

Many women never notice the shedding of the mucus plug, but may see spotting, bloody discharge of tinted vaginal discharge during pregnancy after the plug has shed. These are all important changes to report to your attending physician.

Safe Sex During Pregnancy

It is exceptionally important to practice safe sex during pregnancy. Vaginal discharge during pregnancy can be a symptom of an STD. While not all STDs are passed on to baby, some of the most severe, HIV included, will pass on.

Vaginal discharge during pregnancy is common and all women will have to deal with the affects at some point during the pregnancy. It is important to remember four very important tips.

  • Do not use a tampon
  • Do not douche
  • Practice safe sex
  • Report all changes in vaginal discharge to the Ob / Gyn

With these tips in hand, rest assured the pregnancy will go off without a hitch from the vaginal discharge during pregnancy. After birth, the 4 to 6 weeks of menstruation will clean out the uterus and all vaginal discharge should return to normal.

Apr 24, 2017

Stay-At-Home Dad Leaves Hilarious Post-It Notes Around the House for His Wife to Find

“Stay-At-Home Dad Leaves Hilarious Post-It Notes Around the House for His Wife to Find” originally appeared on ABC News, and was reprinted with permission.

stay-at-home dad post-its
Image source: Chris Illuminati

A stay-at-home father of two found a way of letting his wife know exactly what happened while she was at work: Post-it notes.

Chris Illuminati began posting photos of the handwritten notes — which detail the funny, heartwarming and painful moments of his days caring for the family’s two children — on social media. And he’s now getting tons of attention online for his quips.

One Post-it that he stuck to the bottom of a bed reads, “The kid thought there was a monster under his bed. I told him monsters are very quiet before eating a child and it’s probably just a [burglar].”

Happy Easter!! #family #shootme

A post shared by Message with a Bottle (@messagewithabottle) on

Illuminati, 39, has a son, 7-year-old Evan, and daughter, 4-year-old Lila, with his wife of nine years, Libby Illuminati. Chris Illuminati decided to quit his job at a content editor for a group of newspapers in Pennsylvania when their first child was born in 2010.

“We realized how ridiculously expensive day care is, and I said, ‘Why not do it myself, and I can still write on the side?'” he said of his decision.

Soon he got into the habit of using Post-it notes to remind him of easy tasks and leaving them around the house to make his wife laugh. An early note read, “Don’t forget to feed the baby.”

Chris Illuminati post-its
Image source: Chris Illuminati

Seven years later, Illuminati uses the Post-it jokes to foster a parenting community on his website, Message With a Bottle.

“We tend to forget as __parents that we’re going through something in the moment that 5 million other __parents did too,” he explained. “It’s kind of like we all share in each other’s pain, misery, joy — there’s just a familiarity to it.”

And yes, his wife still finds the notes funny.

“She’s always been one of my biggest supporters,” he said.

Related Post
Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week — 4/14

Mom’s Brilliant Diaper Bag Hack Has the Internet Bowing at Her Feet

YOU GUYS — have I got some amazing news for you. An absolutely brilliant mom has created the ultimate diaper bag hack that has the Internet buzzing, but has me practically crying tears of joy. I have two small kids and a baby on the way, and so the real estate in my diaper bag is what you might call … extremely precious.

Enter, California mom Elizabeth Burchiel, an artist who runs the Facebook page Painted Dragon. Recently, she took a few common items and combined them in such a way that the modern diaper bag is now a darn miracle of space. By strapping diaper wipes to the top of an empty plastic wipes container — with a headband she found at the Dollar Tree — she was able to create instant space inside for a quick change of clothes, a plastic bag for dirty diapers, and a changing pad for her baby.

Genius, huh?

Parents with babies and small kids everywhere will tell you that one of the most vexing problems you can have is when you need something PRONTO — like a clean diaper to change a blowout or some butt paste because your baby is shrieking over a chapped hiney-ho — and are unable to find things, because diaper bags are typically a disorganized mess of stuff.

Diaper bags have a way of collecting total garbage, from wrappers and receipts to junk mail and empty water bottles, so that by the end of the day they end up being receptacles for more than just cute onesies and baby sunscreen. Not only that, but they tend to be deep and wide and filled with so many pockets that it’s easy to lose sight of things, like DIAPERS for example.

According to Burchiel, the diaper bag hack “accidentally evolved.”

“I liked the box the wipes came in, but didn’t really need it at home any more because I had gotten a wipe warmer as a gift,” she tells Babble. “So the box just got set aside. I use a cloth grocery bag for my diaper bag because, well, I really like it and its frickin’ cute. But it’s just a bag with a couple small pockets and a snap to hold it mostly together, so everything is just in there.”

As you might imaging, Burchiel got pretty damn frustrated one day while digging through for diapers and wipes one day, so she grabbed the box and shoved them both in there. That’s when she realized that even with five small diapers in there, she still had a little extra room. That’s when she tossed a little outfit in, and made it the ultimate “blow-out” solution.

Related Post
7 Reasons Why Having Three Kids Is Actually Easier Than Having One

“Tying the wipes to the lid actually took a little longer to happen,” she explains, “but I was rummaging through my bathroom and found a headband and just put two and two together. [I later made improvements] to have it so it’s not seen after and now I’ve tossed in a roll of doggie bags after seeing all the suggestions for plastic bags for disposal and what not.”

Amazing.

This quick, grabbable solution is perfect for tossing in your stroller or leaving in your car for moments you’re on the go. Even keeping one on hand in the bathroom is pretty ideal. Heck, I might even create one just for me. I’ll stick some maxi pads, some make up, facial wipes, SPF, and a pair sunglasses, a few dollars in cash, and lip gloss in mine.

Burchiel, who says she’s “a minimalist at heart,” has found the diaper bag hack to be great for pretty much every scenario. “I just toss it in the bag with a few blankets and my ring sling and I’m good to go!” she says.

Moms and dads are forever coming up with genius hacks to solve modern parenting problems. Remember that dad who turned a See ‘n Say into a brilliant way to answer the “what’s for dinner?” debate? Or that amazingly smart babysitter who tucked a baby down her shorts so that she could make a sandwich without worrying about the kiddo getting into trouble? Parenting brings out ingenuity like nothing else.

For __parents everywhere, this simple combination of a hair tie, an empty container, and baby essentials is well worth copying. Here’s to hoping that this mama patents the idea and makes a gazillion dollars on it. It’s THAT life-changing!

New York State Will Now Cover Donor Breast Milk for Preemies of Low-Income Families

All babies are born vulnerable and in need of some TLC, but premature babies face more adversity right from the start. Besides their increased likelihood of developing respiratory and cardiovascular issues, jaundice, and anemia, preemies are also more vulnerable to a serious disease called Necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC).

NEC can wreck a tiny baby’s intestines, leading to inflammation, swelling, problems with food absorption, and even death. And with preemies at a far greater risk of contracting NEC than full-term babies, countless resources and tens of thousands of dollars are spent each year in an effort to protect them from the terrible disease.

But do you know what the No. 1 thing is that helps prevent babies from contracting NEC in the first place? It’s breast milk.

While breast milk is beneficial for all babies (especially in their first few months of life), experts say it’s particularly instrumental in keeping preemies safe. Many premature babies aren’t physically able to breastfeed at first, which is why pumped breast milk becomes the most viable option. At the same time, not all moms are able to pump a full supply of breast milk for their infants. And this can be especially hard for preemie moms, who are already busy dealing with complicated medical stuff and a variety of emotions, plus shuttling back and forth between the hospital and their home.

As a result, many preemie moms find their milk supplies greatly impacted, and are unable to produce enough milk for their babies. But that doesn’t mean that their babies don’t need or deserve the breast milk.

And that’s where milk banks come in. There are several of these amazing places around the country, all of which take donations of breast milk, pasteurize it so it’s safe for babies, and then deliver it to babies in need (most often premature infants).

Just a few months ago, New York Milk Bank made headlines for its unique delivery system: They’ve enlisted the help of an all-female (and totally badass) motorcycle crew, who volunteer to hand-deliver donated breast milk to babies all across the New York metropolitan area.

And now, the good people at New York Milk Bank have some other fantastic news to celebrate: New York just passed a provision in its budget that will ensure the coverage of donor milk for low-income mothers. (Woohoo!)

New York joins five other states in this newly-passed provision, including California, Kansas, Missouri, Texas, and Utah. But it took some effort to get the Empire state on board. In fact, the New York Milk Bank was part of a long-standing campaign to push the provision through.

In a Facebook post shared April 12, the New York Milk Bank wrote:

“Special thanks to our Executive Board members who advocated long and hard for their fellow New Yorkers and to our amazing supporters who work with premature infants across New York State and know first hand the benefits of using donor milk in the NICU.”

Julie Bouchet-Horwitz, the executive director of The New York Milk Bank, tells Public News Service that at about $4.50 an ounce, is costs roughly $3,200 to supply enough donor breast milk for one preemie baby.

‘For every six babies that you treat with donor milk, you save one incidence of NEC … ‘
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

On the other hand, treating a baby for NEC can cost a whopping $350,000. So breastmilk coverage would definitely be advantageous to everyone involved.

“For every six babies that you treat with donor milk, you save one incidence of NEC,” Bouchet-Horwitz tells Public News Service. “So it’s definitely cost effective for them to prevent this disease.”

The New York Milk Bank is currently the only milk bank in New York state. About 3,330 premature babies are born in the New York area each year, and with the expanded insurance coverage, the bank could see a huge increase in their demand for donated milk.

Although the milk bank just opened its doors last September, Bouchet-Horwitz tells Public News Service that they are absolutely prepared for this increase in demand.

“We knew that about 200,000 ounces would be needed to feed these babies,” she added. “We planned to meet that need and have everything in place for when this happened so that’s what we prepared for.”

How amazing is that? And think of all the incredible moms who went out of their way to pump and donate their milk for these babies in need.

Related Post
Why This Image of Breast Milk in a Petri Dish Is Blowing the Internet's Mind

According to Public News Service, the New York state coverage is currently limited to the mothers who receive their insurance through Medicaid. Other insurance companies do sometimes cover donor milk for preemies, but it is mostly on a case-by-case basis. However, Bouchet-Horwitz hopes this move by New York will spur more insurance companies to follow suit.

“We’re hoping that this will infiltrate down to the public in general the importance of human milk and how species-specific it is, what a specialized food it is and first food for all babies,” she explains to Public News Service.

Yes! Let’s hope more insurance companies (and more states!) begin to offer this coverage. All babies deserve the best start to life, and our most vulnerable babies deserve the awesome extra protection that breastmilk can provide them.

If you would like to find a breast milk donation center in your area, visit the Human Milk Banking Association of America to learn more.

High School Wrestling Captain Comes Out to Team, Inspires Them to Change Locker Room Talk

High school wrestler Liam Ball
Image source: Liam Ball

One Washington teen has taken powerful action to change his high school’s “locker room talk” for the better.

18-year-old Liam Ball is Meadowdale High School’s wrestling captain and vice president of the student body. After hearing countless homophobic conversations in his locker room, he knew he had to speak up. So Liam, a gay teenager, came out to his entire wrestling team.

This wasn’t the first time Liam officially came out. He revealed that he was gay to close friends and family when he was a freshman. And while his loved ones were accepting and open, Liam felt concerned about the rest of his school knowing.

“It was the most stressful time of my life. Dealing with the pressure of fitting in, being a leader, and keeping up with my school work,” Liam tells Babble.

Liam Ball with his wrestling team
Image source: Liam Ball

Despite his worries, Liam knew that publicly sharing his sexual identity with his team would be the right thing to do. He felt especially compelled after seeing the negative impact the 2016 election had on his classmates.

“When I decided to tell them, it was after the election of Donald Trump,” says Liam. “I had noticed a shift in my school’s dynamic and the way people were treating each other, not just in the wrestling room but around the school.”

Liam chose a meeting in the wrestling mat room to make the announcement to his 30 teammates. For Liam, the talk was intended to go deeper than his own experience — it was about removing hateful language from his locker room, along with teaching acceptance and understanding to his peers.

“I didn’t just make me coming out to them all about me,” Liam remembers. “I was trying to teach the younger wrestlers a life lesson about the importance of respecting and accepting one another.”

Image of Liam Ball
Image source: Liam Ball

Liam’s talk with his team eliminated the negative “locker room talk” almost immediately. In an article featuring Liam in OutSports, he says, “A lot of kids had my back after I had the conversation with them, which was nice. I grew with my team, and we had a much better connection after it happened.”

Liam credits his wrestling coach Brian Boardman for supporting him in his decision to talk to the team, telling OutSports, “He was nothing but supportive. He’s an amazing person. He thought it was a great idea to continue to be captain, set an example and be a role model.”

Liam’s coach is equally in awe of his prized wrestler. Boardman shared in an article about Liam for Seattle Times, “Liam is a great wrestler, but that might not be the best thing about him. He has so much to offer than just that. He’s a kid that could change the world — he’s got that ability.”

Liam Ball outdoors
Image source: Liam Ball

Liam hopes his example will help his school embrace anyone who is different and use that acceptance to stop any hatred they see around them. He is also more than happy to be a role model for young gay athletes everywhere.

“I think representation is the most powerful tool that can be used fight bigotry. I needed to familiarize my team and other people that there are gay wrestlers and gay athletes out there, and also that words in the locker room may have no effect on you, but could destroy another’s world,” Liam tells Babble.

For those LGBTQ youth who are struggling to come out to their own communities, Liam offers encouragement. “I know it is scary to come out, but the best way to do it is with confidence. ‘Yeah, this is who I am, and it can’t be changed.’”

Liam is leaving the wrestling mat behind when he goes to the University of Washington in the fall, but that won’t stop him from making a huge impact in his next field. He plans to study Political Science at UW and may even study law after that. Wherever his path takes him, Liam knows one thing for sure: he wants to take the powerful experience he had with his team and make a positive impact on the world.

What an incredible young person! Liam can inspire us all to serve as an example in modeling kind and respectful behavior toward others.

Related Post
This Adorable 10-Year-Old Has a Side Gig as an Inspirational Life Coach

We Are the Mothers Who Have Always Mothered

Middle school girl holding baby
Image source: Thinkstock

There are a lot of us out there.

You may spot us by how others describe us: the “old souls” or the “responsible” ones. You may know us as the girls who always got the good grades, the ones who did our homework and collected our gold stars, even as we grew indifferent to their accumulation.

We were the ones dubbed “little mothers.” The girls who tucked our baby dolls into bed. The ones who took on the responsibility of mothering little ones for adults at family gatherings and holiday parties as they watched from a distance and cracked open a beer.

We are the mothers who have always mothered.

Maybe you were born the oldest daughter with the natural birth-given role of leading the flock that followed. Maybe you grew up never realizing that not every girl is expected to hold her sister’s hand, change diapers, and take on chores. Maybe that’s just the way it was. Eldest daughters are known to be the most successful, ambitious, and intelligent of the bunch. And we know this to be true because we didn’t always have a choice.

In a way, we’re the forgotten ones. We’re the ones who never needed much.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

Maybe you’re not the oldest. Maybe you fell into mothering out of chance, a stroke of bad luck, a loss, or life circumstance that forced you to step into a role you weren’t ready to take on. Maybe you learned early on how to do what so many still cannot — juggle the cooking and cleaning and child-rearing with a baby on your hip, while you were still a baby yourself.

In some ways, you are grateful because it shaped who you are today: the responsible one, the one who recognizes danger, the one who swiftly intervenes before a small child impales herself on a stick no one else sees.

We are the mothers who have always mothered.

In families, there are middle children, lovable babies, inbetweeners, only children, beloved sons, the goofy screw-up who always seems to scrape by somehow, black sheep, and outcasts. But as for us? In a way, we’re the forgotten ones.

We’re the ones who never needed much. We slipped by, integral but unnoticed, steadfast and sturdy, responsible and respectful. “We never had to worry about you,” our __parents might say and we would smile, knowing how heartbreakingly true that was.

We are the mothers who have always mothered.

And once we became mothers of our own, we slipped naturally into the roles — the hand-holding and the diaper changing, the shushing and the comforting, the schedules and the responsibilities that were second nature to us. “We never wanted that crazy lifestyle,” we will say. We were never much for late nights anyways because we’ve always been mothers at heart.

We never learned to be carefree, and sometimes, we wonder if we’ve ever truly been free.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

Others will nod their heads at us, never noticing the transition from little mother to actual mother as the natural path of our lives unfold. Of course we would become mothers. Of course we would remember to have our children take their vitamins, brush their teeth, and go to bed on time. Of course we would leave the party early, cook a healthy meal, drive the minivan, and research the schools.

Of course we would. We’ve always been the responsible ones. But they? They don’t know how we do it.

We do it because we’ve always done it. We don’t know another way to live where we aren’t expected to be the responsible one. We never learned to be carefree, and sometimes, we wonder if we’ve ever truly been free.

Related Post
No, Dear Husband and Kids, You're Not Cleaning "for" Me

And maybe it will hit us someday. Maybe while we’re folding laundry and our to-do list is flitting through our mind and we have to remember to pick up the birthday present and do the shopping and schedule the check-up, we’ll wonder if any of it was ever true. We will see the carefree and feel a pang when yet another person comments how we never relax, chides us to “live a little,” or just looks right past us the way they always have because we’re invisible.

Are we the mothers who have always mothered? Or are we the mothers who never had a chance to do anything else?

My Father’s Alzheimer’s Diagnosis Bonded My Siblings and I in a Way We Never Imagined

The diagnosis happened on a Wednesday. Alzheimer’s disease. This big, loud, heavy word came in like a whisper but fell with a thud, like a rock splashed in the water making a thousand tiny ripples.

The diagnosis itself wasn’t a surprise. My dad had been diagnosed with a mild form of dementia a year earlier, and we all knew the condition had declined since then. Over the course of the past year, his symptoms went from repeating questions and forgetting the names of his grandchildren to not knowing who won the election and not recognizing his son-in-law.

But while these situations are startling, unsettling, and impossible to ignore, there are also long stretches of lucidity when you might suspect that he was merely having a “senior moment.”

Image Source: Christine Organ

My father loves to sing and dance, though he doesn’t know the words to most songs and rhythm was never his forte, and it brings out a joy in him that is sometimes clouded by confusion. I’ve seen him bust a move to “Ice Ice Baby” and heard him serenade my mom with his rendition of “Natural Woman” while watching Dancing With the Stars — one of his favorite shows. My mom blushes and giggles, but deep down I know it brings her joy as well. My dad is more sentimental and proud than ever, and when my sister recently gave him a collage of family photos, he simultaneously wept and beamed.

For most of the past year, it felt like we were living in limbo, knowing he wasn’t well and the situation was deteriorating, but unsure just how unwell he was or what the prognosis would be.

In some ways, the diagnosis was a relief; we’re done waiting, now we know. And since that big and heavy word — Alzheimer’s — had already been bandied about, whether hypothetically or prophetically, the diagnosis itself wasn’t necessarily a surprise either. In fact, the news spread through the family through a series of text messages, all confirming what we already suspected. Tiny ripples tapped out on iPhone screens.

In some ways, the diagnosis came in more like a whisper than a shout … in other ways, it fell heavy like a hard stone in a placid lake.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

With more than 5 million Americans living with Alzheimer’s disease, the issues my family faces are not unique. In fact, according to the recent PBS documentary Every Minute Counts, the disease is one of the most critical public health crises facing the country. The financial impact of the disease is staggering, as are the social and emotional impacts on the entire family. In a 2015 installment of the NPR series Inside Alzheimer’s, journalist Greg O’Brien — who was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease himself in 2009 — describes the disease as “death in slow motion.”

In some ways, the diagnosis came in more like a whisper than a shout. Unlike other diseases or medical conditions, like cancer or heart failure, there are no big decisions to be made about treatment. Little progress has been made in treatment options and research hasn’t yet produced a drug that alters the disease’s course.

Nevertheless, given the rampant rate of Alzheimer’s disease, researchers are pressing ahead. The passage of the 21st Century Cures Act, which sets aside $3 billion over 10 years to fund research of brain diseases and offers prize money to encourage Alzheimer’s experiments, has reinvigorated researchers. But for the time being, treatment options — at least for my father — are at a standstill.

In other ways, the whispered diagnosis fell heavy like a hard stone in a placid lake, with ripples spreading out like spindly tentacles into every aspect of our lives.

The most troubling thing about the diagnosis is knowing what lies ahead, and worrying what will be left in the wake of the disease. What will people think if they know, or if they don’t know? Will the legacy of the man my father had been be shadowed by the forgotten memories of the disease? Will the man he once was get lost in the disease he is slowly becoming? Will his legacy be that of forgotten memories and confusion, or will it be of that person he was before the disease?

The ripples spread throughout the family, of course. I wondered what my children — his grandchildren — would remember about the man he was becoming under the shackles of the disease. And of course, the ripples spread fast and furious to the rest of family, too. How would the disease impact the rest of us — my mom, my brother, my sister and I? What would the disease do to us as individuals, and as siblings?

Image Source: Christine Organ

When I was little, whenever my siblings and I would fight, my mom would get this pained look on her face, like she was physically hurting. “My only wish in life is that you three get along,” she’d say, and we’d roll our eyes.

Now, with two sons of my own, I can fully appreciate the sentiment behind her words. She didn’t just want us to tolerate each other, but to be friends, comrades, and partners in this thing called life — both during the relatively short era that is childhood, and, more importantly, during the long haul, so we’d have people to love, guide, and support us when life got tough.

With children of my own who bicker endlessly and love each other fiercely, I am also realizing she needn’t have worried so much about whether those childhood squabbles would tarnish our relationships or thwart any future bond for the tough times. Because it’s in those tough times that the bond is created, not the other way around. As my brother, sister, and I have all witnessed the slow cognitive decline of our dad, we are the only ones who can truly understand what each other is feeling.

I have friends and peers with personal experience dealing with Alzheimer’s, but given that I’m still in my 30s (even if only for a few more months), most of the knowledge my peers have of the disease is through a grandparent or elderly relative; not their own parent.

My husband is a tenacious supporter and, quite frankly, has been just as emotionally distraught by my dad’s medical condition as anyone; but his relationship is that of a son-in-law, not a son or daughter. My mom, of course, is impacted most by the disease and, like most caregivers, she will probably be eligible for sainthood soon; but her relationship with my dad has always been the wholly unique one of matrimony.

My dad’s memories might be slipping … but our memories of the person he was — confident, generous, bold — are firmly etched in our hearts and minds.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

Which leaves my siblings and me. We are the ones closest to understanding — and I mean really understanding — what this disease means for our family as a whole, and for each of us personally.

Of course, we each process things in our own way and the situation affects us all differently. My brother and sister both live near my parents, and are available on a day-to-day basis, whereas I live three hours away and am of limited utility (which is a source of both guilt and comfort). Some of us are emotional, others more pragmatic. Some of us are more independent by nature, others more closely intertwined with the family dynamic. But despite these differences in personality and circumstance, we see each other through the tumult and tough times with an inherent understanding of what each other is going through, because we all share the role of being our father’s child.

Image Source: Christine Organ

My dad’s diagnosis might have come in like a whisper, falling with a loud and heavy thud, leaving countless ripples in its wake. My dad’s memories might be slipping, he might be more timid and dependent, but our memories of the person he was — confident, generous, bold — are firmly etched in our hearts and minds. We will be the carriers of that light, as the darkness of the disease falls heavy.

Even though there are ripples of struggle and challenges, there are also ripples of friendship, solidarity, and support among my siblings and me — strong connections and bonds my __parents wished for since we were born. Regardless of whatever crashing waves this rock called Alzheimer’s disease leaves in its wake, those ripples will be part my father’s legacy as well.

Related Post
How 'Finding Dory' Can Teach Our Kids That Being Different Is OK

The Day My Daughter Stopped Calling Me “Mommy”

breanne randall and daughter mom
Image Source: Breanne Randall

My 3-year-old daughter was having a blast playing in the bath. But our normal routine turned into a gut-wrenching moment when she turned to me and asked, “Can you get me some more toys, Mom?”

It was such a simple question, but one that rocked my little world of motherhood. My toddler, who’s called me Mommy for as long as she could speak, had just called me Mom.

Like any mother, I waited with excitement for her first milestones. I dutifully copied down each one in a journal and took a hundred pictures just to get the right one. And when she first called me Mommy, I realized that was it — the moment I didn’t even know I’d been waiting for. She was finally a big kid. It seemed like all the sleepless nights, mom guilt, and wondering if I was doing the right thing finally added up.

“Mommy” was the person she turned to when she woke up crying in the middle of the night, when she was hungry, or when she got a boo-boo. And being called Mom, even though it was something so small, made it seem like her autonomy was taking over. I knew it wasn’t exactly logical, but my perception of feeling needed immediately shifted. I saw the future play out before me and got my first real glimpse of her growing up.

But ‘Mom?’ I don’t know who that is or what the journey will be like to get there. It’s unknown territory, and quite frankly, it’s scary.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

After that first time, we’d make something of a joke out of it. When she’d call me Mom, I’d pretend like I couldn’t hear her until she called me Mommy. It would throw her into fits of giggles until she’d finally say, “Okay, okay, Mommy.”

And that was the thing I came to realize. I know who “Mommy” is. I’ve spent the last four years getting to know that aspect of myself. I’ve honed my patience, watched my love grow, and traversed the confusion that comes with new motherhood.

But “Mom?” I don’t know who that is or what the journey will be like to get there. It’s unknown territory, and quite frankly, it’s scary. These first four years have been a constant give and take, push and pull experience that’s shaped me more than anything else. And to think about embarking on a new path when I’m just now getting the hang of this one? Um, yikes.

The thing is, being a parent is a funny journey — a unique, but shared experience. The rights of motherhood are liberally bestowed from the first plus sign on the pregnancy test to the moment you hear their heartbeat on the sonogram. Motherhood claims you in different ways throughout every stage. There are no discrepancies along this journey. You’re just consumed with a love and passion — an obsession born of insane and intense joy.

And there are times you want nothing more than to just give up. Some days you want to toss in that dirty, milk-drenched, tear-stained towel that’s cleaned up way too many messes to count.

But then you see their face.

They may not look like you, but you see yourself in them. Maybe it’s the tip of their nose, their delicate ears, their stubbornness, or their refusal to fit in. And you think, “I want them to be better than me.” So you don’t give up.

Motherhood does not lie in the name your child calls you, but in the heart.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

Give in? Yeah. Probably. Sometimes often.

You give in to the pacification of the iPhone games, the drive thru, the toy they must have, or the glass of wine and Netflix binge you’re looking forward to after bedtime. But you’ll never give up. Because you’re their mountain mover. You are the vision they can’t see themselves, the listening ear, the chauffeur, the cheerleader, the tutor … the everything.

When I heard my daughter call me Mom, I wanted to give up. How could I come to terms with my shifting identity from Mommy to Mom?

Over the next few days, I reflected incessantly on why it bothered me so much. I knew it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. I slowly and painfully came to realize that as she grows, her view of me does, too.

I’m a mother, a friend, a comforter, a disciplinarian, and everything in between. And you know what? That’s okay. I see those similarities that form a major part of our bond. I love it, but at the same time I can separate myself enough to know that I want more for her. I want her to be better than me. So instead of giving up, I can give in at certain times.

The essence of motherhood lies in the heart — in the very spirit of our being. It’s laced like a drug in the blood that runs through our veins. So no matter whether they call you Mommy or Mom, you look at them and say, “I love you,” as if they could possibly comprehend the depth of those words from parent to child. It’s those very words that help you realize that motherhood does not lie in the name your child calls you, but in the heart.

I’m sure the journey ahead will be filled with more confusing moments, tears, and joy that I have yet to imagine. The role of “Mommy” has helped shaped me; but I can’t wait to see who “Mom” will turn out to be.

Related Post
We Are the Mothers Who Have Always Mothered

What I Would Tell Any New Parent Living Paycheck to Paycheck

Image Source: Wendy Wisner

It was on a cold January morning, with my 3-week-old baby curled into my lap, that I finally spent some time investigating childcare options for my anticipated return to work. I made a few calls to local daycare centers, looked up babysitter rates online, and started to crunch some numbers.

I soon realized that however I cut it, there was no way it would make sense for me to return to my part-time college teaching job. Between the cost of childcare and commuting, I would break even, if that.

That was the moment that I became a SAHM. And although I was kind of nervous at the prospect, the truth was, it was what I wanted to do in my heart anyway. I couldn’t really imagine being separated from my sweet baby boy, and couldn’t yet stomach the idea of someone other than me or my husband caring for him.

What followed were many years of joy, coupled with a fair amount of financial stress. My husband worked several part-time jobs, and we lived frugally and simply, considering every purchase we made carefully, and going without whenever we could. We lived in a 600 square-foot apartment when my son was little, because moving to a bigger place was decidedly out of our budget.

Even though there was financial strain, the magic of watching our young child grow and change … was enough to overshadow most of the stress.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

And as strange as it may sound, that tiny apartment and minimalistic lifestyle brought us much happiness. I have wonderful memories of being huddled together in our little living room, just the three of us. Even though there was financial strain, the magic of watching our young child grow and change, miraculously, right before our very eyes, was enough to overshadow most of the stress.

Plus, the fact that my husband had a flexible schedule meant that he got to spend a lot of time with us. He was an extremely hands-on dad, helping with the baby, staying up all night with him if he was sick, and letting me sleep in the mornings if he could (every mom knows what a huge bonus this is!). A simple life can have its perks like that.

I won’t lie, though: It was really tough to live off one income. Even though our expenses were very low and we made a conscious effort to live as frugally as possible, living paycheck to paycheck sometimes meant that we needed to put purchases on our credit card, and credit card debt can start to mount up pretty quickly.

But our financial woes reached a crisis state when our son was five, and I was newly pregnant with our second child. My husband lost one of his part-time jobs, and then promptly lost the other. That second one was the main, steadiest source of his income, and also gave us our health insurance.

Soon after that, we began receiving public assistance (Medicaid and food stamps, in our case). We got some help from family, and lived off of our meager savings. But it was a lot of financial strife at once. And it didn’t help that I was sick and pregnant.

Our credit card debt climbed to a place I was definitely embarrassed and terrified to admit, and there were times that I was so consumed with worry, I couldn’t sleep. I was frightened about bringing a new baby into our financial mess, and I worried that we would never get out of it.

That was five years ago, and thankfully, we are in a much better place financially now. My husband has a great job, and now that our kids are older, I have found ways to work from home while they are in school. We have moved to a bigger home, and live what we consider to be a rather charmed life, at least compared to where we were before.

Best of all, we are slowly, but surely climbing out of debt, which is huge for us. And we are even finding ourselves able to save a little here and there.

But those early years, man … they were definitely very tough on us — both financially and emotionally. The level of worry I had to experience in the year or so that my husband was unemployed was dark and deep. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

But I will say this: looking back, I have very few regrets.

Image Source: Wendy Wisner

In our case, living with less meant we got to spend more time with each other. My husband works 50-hour work weeks now, and while he almost always gets home in time for dinner and bedtime, we feel incredibly lucky that he got to spend so much time in the early years with our sons, really forming a deep and lasting bond with them.

And as tough as it was to not be contributing financially to our family (and believe me, I felt some major guilt about that), I don’t regret my years as a SAHM. I couldn’t take my kids to every mommy-and-me class out there, and our “playroom” doubled as our dining room, but I wouldn’t trade those years with my kids for the world.

I know for sure that living simply — and perhaps not entirely financially responsibly — is not for everyone. I also know that there are many valid ways to raise and provide for your family. (Working moms definitely find amazing ways to spend quality time with their kids.)

But if you’re just starting your family, and feel unsure of how it is all going to shake out financially, keep in mind that your kids are only itty-bitty for so long. Eventually they will be in school and you’ll have some extra time to work without having to pay astronomical childcare costs. And before you know it, your children will be able to stay home alone without you — and even get jobs of their own!

Related Post
Please Don’t Judge a Family Who Relies on Public Assistance Unless You've Walked in Their Shoes

If you’re going through those early years right now, and are finding it hard to keep your head above water, hang in there. These years may be rough, but they almost always have a way of working themselves out. So scale back on your life as much as possible, and do what you need to do to stay afloat. Remember: This isn’t forever; it’s just for now. And I promise you it’s more than worth it.

But above all, know this: You are not alone. A lot of us find it really tough at first; and despite how Instagram may make you feel, not everyone is finding it easy to balance the kids and the bills behind the scenes. Have faith that you, too, will get back on your feet in time, and try to enjoy the heck out of your kids when they are as little as they are. It really does go by so fast.

Our Family Budget Isn’t a Secret — My Kids Know Every Single Detail

Image Source: Gemma Hartley

We all want to teach our kids how to be smart with their money. As parents, we want them to enter the world armed with knowledge that will help them make good financial decisions, avoiding all the mistakes we once made while floundering into the adult world.

But if we want them to know how it’s done, we can’t just tell them what to do with money, we need to show them.

For lots of parents, that’s way easier said than done. Showing often involves revealing mistakes that make us feel insecure. Showing is vulnerable. Showing requires more than a one time effort. It’s a constant conversation that needs to grow and shift over time. It’s a learning experience that never fully reaches an end.

Still, many __parents choose to keep the details of the family budget under wraps, even if they’re trying to teach their kids how to budget and be responsible with cash. After all, most of us are taught early that money is supposed to be a private matter, and giving up the exact details of what you earn and how you spend it to your kids is a huge taboo — even with your own flesh and blood.

But I think we often take that concept a bit too far. I also happen to think it’s exactly what they need to see. I want every nook and cranny of my budget to be transparent, so my kids can learn exactly how we choose to allocate our money as a family, and why it matters.

And so, I’ve made it that way: I currently share every detail of the family budget with my eldest children, who are now 6 and 4. And yes, that means the triumphs and mistakes, the minutia and the big picture, so that someday when it comes time for them to make a budget of their own, they’ll know exactly how to make one that reflects their priorities.

For years, my husband and I have maintained a practice of setting up our budget together the week before a new month starts. My 6-year-old has joined in the family meetings that once were just between my husband and I, and now my 4-year-old even tags along. My husband and I talk about the various needs and wants that we have (buying new running shoes, getting haircuts, going out with friends, etc.) as well as our long term planning for vacations and retirement.

Our kids hear all of it — whether they fully get it yet or not. They hear us discussing the way we cover our necessities, the way we plan to save, and the repetition of our college and retirement talks. I want it engrained in their memories.

A budget isn’t just cut and dry numbers, it’s a reflection of our family values.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

They get to be a part of the equation too, adding in their wants and needs for the month at the end. Sometimes they get what they want, and sometimes they don’t, but either scenario gives us the opportunity to talk about our priorities for our money. That big trip to Disneyland this summer? It takes a lot of planning and saving. Wanting a new set of LEGOs? We can work that right into their monthly chore chart goals. Though they may disagree with how we choose to allocate funds, they’re learning to respect this intricate framework that reflects what’s important to us.

Image Source: Gemma Hartley

Because a budget isn’t just cut and dry numbers, it’s a reflection of our family values. We cannot buy everything; we must choose carefully where we want our money to go. Giving to others comes before buying a new toy. Saving for the future comes before the satisfying thrill of a grand new vacation.

We’ve made it this way for a reason — because generosity and security are important to us; so other fun stuff can be delayed.

If I ever feel uncomfortable divulging the budget with my kids, it means something isn’t aligning with my values, and that’s a big red flag that something needs to change. I need to feel comfortable revealing how we choose to spend money as a family, in the same way I need to feel good about how I spend my time and attention. It all boils down to the same thing: What do I truly value in my life?

That doesn’t mean I always get it right, though. Sometimes I fall into the black hole of the Internet instead of spending time reading an extra bedtime story. Sometimes I’m too stressed with work to enjoy our bike rides to the park. There are also times when the way I spend my money is less than admirable.

Image Source: Gemma Hartley

There have been times when I have overspent while out with friends, leaving our family entertainment budget without enough to go out for a Sunday family meal at the end of the month. Owning up to that doesn’t feel good, but it’s necessary to admit that sometimes I mess up with money; because someday they will, too. I want my kids to always feel comfortable coming to me with their money questions, knowing that I am an open book for them to learn from.

But I also hope through my long-standing example they will ultimately learn to do better than me, and not make so many mistakes. Hopefully, giving them a firm foundation and exposing my own flaws and successes will lead them in the right direction. I hope I can help them craft their own budget that works for them, one that they too will feel confident in sharing with their families one day. One they’ll never feel like they need to hide.

Related Post
5 Game-Changing Budgeting Apps That Will Help You Climb Out of Debt

Mom Who Lost Two Babies Creates T-Shirt Line to Raise Money for Adoption

Rachel George, 30, a coffee shop owner from Danville, IL and her husband, Sam, 31, a purchasing manager, have lived through not one, but two of the greatest tragedies imaginable: the loss of both of their children. First, they lost their son Clive Samuel, who passed away at 5 weeks old, and then their daughter Winnie Joy, who died when she was just 9 days old.

Rachel and Sam George with their newborn baby
Image Source: Rachel George

While both of their babies passed away in the hospital as a result of heart conditions, the children’s deaths were not genetically linked or at all related. The passing of Clive and Winnie appear to be the result of what Rachel describes as “horrible cases of lightning striking twice.”

Clive, who would now be 2 years old, was born with a rapid heart rate and arrhythmia that did not respond to treatment. Winnie, who would have been 8 months old, had an undetected heart condition that caused her sudden death, despite several scans and heart monitoring that came back normal. “She was incredibly sweet, calm, and peaceful,” Rachel describes.

Infant Winnie Joy George
Image Source: Rachel George

Rachel documented all of her pregnancies — including her first miscarriage before Clive, and the loss of her children — on her Instagram feed. Although she says her story is “horrific” to read, she shares her journey in the hopes of focusing on the love her children had and brought into this world, however briefly. “We are so glad to have met our children and shown them love for their entire lives,” she says. “They are incredible blessings and have taught us so much.”

Today, as the couple continues to process life after loss, they have decided to pursue adoption. Settling on domestic adoption, they completed a home study and are waiting for placement, which could take up to two years. And while they wait for the child they hope to receive the love they have to give, Rachel is raising funds for their adoption in the best way possible: with a line of T-shirts that celebrate the beauty of coffee.

"Mug Life" T-shirt
Image Source: Rachel George

The T-shirt line Rachel designed for her Etsy shop, Trees & Flowers, focuses on coffee because the couple owns a coffee shop, and also because, well, coffee. And they are absolutely perfect. My personal favorite is the one about Gilmore Girls, because if there are two things I love most in this world it’s Gilmore Girls and drinking coffee. Heck, I could even watch Gilmore Girls while drinking coffee while wearing this shirt!

"I drink coffee like a Gilmore Girl" T-shirt
Image Source: Rachel George

For Rachel, the T-shirts came at the perfect time in her life, when she needed a special project to keep her going. After quitting her job as a teacher to focus on raising Winnie, the heartbroken mother says that she found herself questioning her identity, value, purpose, and life. Her Etsy shop provided her with hope and healing.

“My plans for raising Winnie been completely smashed … my job of ‘mom’ was ripped from me again,” she says. “It all sounds so dramatic when I write it down, but I really think that making my first batch of Trees & Flowers shirts last year brought a tiny sliver of meaning back into my meaningless days. My hands were busy, my mind was distracted, and a making some silly shirts just might have saved my life.”

"Pot head" T-shirt featuring coffee pot
Image Source: Rachel George

It’s hard to imagine anyone going through so much pain and loss in their lives, but Rachel says she and her husband choose to cling to the hope of what their family might look like someday. “We look forward to the day that we will have a house with children in it,” she says. “We look forward to the joy that we will get to experience in seeing our children grow.” And when those children do come into their lives, the proud __parents will waste no time in telling them about their big brother and sister who will always be watching over them.

“We can’t wait to tell them about Clive’s huge grin, fighting spirit, and strength,” Rachel adds. “We can’t wait to tell them about Winnie’s sweet, tender personality, beautiful lips, and peaceful spirit.  They will always be a part of our family.”

And just like one of Rachel’s most popular T-shirts, it really does take a village — even if that village looks like themed T-shirts, different journeys of parenthood, and the love of coffee that ties us all together.

Related Post
Those Steve Madden Shoes You Were Obsessed with in the '90s Are Making a Comeback
Image Source: Rachel George

You can see more of Rachel’s products at her Etsy shop, TreesAndFlowersCo, and follow her journey to adoption on her personal blog, CliveWins.com.

Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week

Image Source: Babble

If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who the time for more than 140 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from __parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome

1. Better to be safe than sorry.

I just overheard my 4yo say, you want a piece of me? so now I'm hiding all the sharp objects in the house.

— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) April 18, 2017

2. All day, every day.

I'm covered in snot. And it doesn't belong to me #dadlife

— Joseph Gore (@Gore_Bore) April 19, 2017

3. Gosh.

Me: Pull your shoulder strap up.
6yo: Why?
Me: So your boobs don't show.
6yo: MOM WHY DO YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE?!

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) April 20, 2017

4. Compliments come in all forms.

My son said I'm more beautiful than a garden gnome so don't try to tell me that motherhood isn't incredibly rewarding.

— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) April 20, 2017

5. How are they always hungry?

90% of parenting is responding to:

Can I have a snack?

— Dad's Take (@DadsTake) April 20, 2017

6. That’s a very good point.

First grade math makes no sense. I mean, who really buys 34 oranges and 21 apples in one day?!

— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) April 19, 2017

7. You do what you gotta do to keep your kids healthy.

7: Can I try the new unicorn frappuccino?

Me: *Leans in and whispers* Do you realize how many unicorns have to die to make just one frap?

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) April 21, 2017

8. We’d give it another month?

How many times can I call my kids the wrong name & say "just kidding!" before they realize I'm not kidding and am just a horrible person?

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) April 20, 2017

9. #ParentingExpert.

"You shouldn't push people," I tell my 6yo, then look around for my parenting medal.

— Zoe vs. the Universe (@zoevsuniverse) April 21, 2017

10. You’ve got him wrapped around your finger now!

If only my baby understood what I'm offering her for falling asleep, she would definitely take that deal & snooze right away… #dadlife

— Dawid Romaldowski (@rmldsky) April 19, 2017

11. That’s some serious drama.

My kids are fighting over the remaining Easter candy and the drama level is approaching Spanish telenovela.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 20, 2017

12. Oh, mom brain.

While nursing I asked my daughter:
Where's the baby?

Mom equivalent of looking for the pencil you are holding

Kids did this to me

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) April 21, 2017

13. Kids are smarter than you think.

7yo: I know what the worst thing in the world is
My brain: This oughta be good
7yo: Being allergic to chocolate
Me: *sobbing* it's true!!

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 19, 2017

14. There’s no “win” in parenting.

My son insists on wearing shorts in cold weather because he's more comfortable & pants in hot weather just to remind me who's in charge.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) April 21, 2017

15. Finding the right motivation is key.

My daughter ran a 4-minute mile this morning. It happened right after I said, "let me see your phone."

— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) April 19, 2017

Related Post
Funny Parenting Tweets: Marriage Edition

This 3-Year-Old’s Reddit AMA Pretty Much Answers All Our Questions About Life

Little boy in Batman T-shirt
Image source: Matthew Clark

For most of us, certain questions take a lifetime to answer. Like, what would you do if you could do anything? How do we solve the refugee crisis? Why do people have toes? And, the one question that keeps so many people up at night: What’s the perfect ingredient to make pasta aglio e olio really “pop?”

You could forget about it and give up — or you could just ask your toddler.

Last week, Matthew Clark put that theory to the test. After creating an AMA thread with the title, “I’m 3. I know everything. AMA,” hundreds of Redditors responded with their questions, which he posed to his 3-year-old son, Caleb.

“I saw that it was regular people posting, not just famous people or people in high level careers. I know my son has funny answers to things and figured I would see if anyone wanted to see what his answers to their questions would be,” Matthew tells Babble.

The results were as profound as they were hilarious.

For example, at three years old, he’s already seemed to have found eternal youth …

Question: “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“4,” he answered. (“Born on February 29th,” one user quipped.)

He totally nails the meaning of life in two words …

Question: “What’s the meaning of life?”

“You are.” (Awww.)

He shows how to make any bad situation better …

Question: “I’ve been trying to make pasta olio e aglio [sic] several times. But somehow I can’t make the dish “pop.” What do you suggest?”

“Some cake.” (Right? Cake trumps all.)

And when it comes to thinly veiled political questions, he simply sticks to the facts.

Question: “What would you call a person with funny hair, orange skin, and tiny hands?”

“Scary.”

caleb clark reddit ama
Image source: Matthew Clark

You can read the entire Q&A here. Says Matthew to Babble:

“His answers really surprised me. Some are your typical answers you would expect from a child … Others felt deep, like they came from someone with many years of life experience but still playful at heart.”

Indeed, Caleb is proving to be quite the little guru. And at over 1,000 comments to date on the AMA thread, there are no signs of the momentum slowing down. While Matthew didn’t expect the overwhelming response to his experiment, he added this to his original post: “I’m so happy that my son’s *all knowing wisdom* could make any of you smile, even if just for a moment.”

h/t: Buzzfeed

Related Post
Those Steve Madden Shoes You Were Obsessed with in the '90s Are Making a Comeback

Marine Dad Surprised with Magical Tea Party Photo Shoot with 4-Year-Old Daughter

“Marine Dad Surprised with Magical Tea Party Photo Shoot with 4-Year-Old Daughter” originally appeared on ABC News, and was reprinted with permission.

One military father recently had a very magical tea party with his 4-year-old daughter, Ashley, and the special moment was captured on camera.

“My husband had no idea what was going to happen until we showed up to the shoot,” Lizette Porter said of her husband Keven Porter, a U.S. Marine Corps drill instructor. “He was hesitant at first but after a little talking I was able to convince him. He would do anything for Ashley.”

keven porter and ashley porter
Image source: kyndalrosephoto/Facebook

She added, “He was kind of embarrassed, but then my daughter had seen the whole set up and was so excited. He couldn’t say no.”

The timing also worked out perfectly for the daddy-daughter photo shoot as April is the Month of the Military Child.

“I figured that would make it a little more special to the both of them,” said the proud mom.

keven porter and ashley porter
Image source: kyndalrosephoto/Facebook

Although the two “are really close,” Lizette said her daughter often misses out on one-on-one time with her dad due to his rigorous work schedule.

“She doesn’t get to see him much due to work, deployment, and most recently his job as a drill instructor,” said Lizette, of Oceanside, California. “Any time they can get together she is sure to take advantage of.”

keven porter and ashley porter
Image source: kyndalrosephoto/Facebook

Lizette wanted the photo shoot to help show that military men have a softer side to them.

“Drill instructors still have a life after working long and hard hours,” she explained. “Many of them have families that after hours they still have to attend to … and yes, a lot of them have a completely different side to them.”

marine dad keven porter and ashley porter
Image source: kyndalrosephoto/Facebook

She added that she wants people to “realize how resilient military children [are] to have their __parents away, or not near them as much as possible.”

It’s safe to say the precious pair had a blast together at their photo shoot. The family plans to hang the pictures in Ashley’s room when they move into their new house.

“I got emotional watching them just be themselves and see how much she loves her daddy,” said Lizette.

Related Post
There's a Real Reason Why Kids Grab at Boobs — and No, It’s Not "Disturbing"

This Dad’s Social Media Deal with His Daughter Is Both Genius and Hilarious

Bradley Herbst
Image Source: Bradley Herbst

If you have a tween or teen, odds are you’ve embarrassed them the hell out of them at some point — whether you meant to or not. It seems that as a parent, your very existence can mortify your child at times, making for some pretty hilarious moments if you play your cards right.

But one imaginative father of two recently decided to take the embarrassment game to a whole new level, for a reason I think all __parents can relate to.

Bradley Herbst of Jacksonville, Florida came up with an ingenious way to spend time with his teenage daughter: He made a rule that whenever he drove her to or from school, she wasn’t allowed on her cell phone. If she broke the rule, Herbst threatened to walk her into school dressed in whatever outrageous costume he happened to be wearing that morning.

And it turns out, he really does own a bevy of outrageous costumes …

Bradley Herbst
Image Source: Bradley Herbst

Herbst told Today that the idea came to him after his daughter looked at the shorts and T-shirt he was wearing one morning and said, “You cannot wear that to school.”

Unfortunately, Herbst’s daughter may have underestimated her dad’s creativity. The hilarious father decided to start dressing up every morning for their ride to school, channeling everyone from Michael Phelps to Richard Simmons, a secret service agent, and even a Chippendale’s dancer!

Before leaving the house, Herbst is always sure to snap a few photos, and upload them directly to Facebook — where they’ve since become a viral hit. And as his popularity has grown, Herbst says he’s even received some new costume ideas from loyal fans (ahem, Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation).

We all know how hard it can be to carve out time with our kids as they get older. And for Herbst, he says the concept was born out of an attempt to have more of that one-on-one time — without his daughter looking down at her phone.

“We routinely have family game night where we play board games and cards,” Herbst tells Babble. “There are no electronics at the dinner table, either.”

Bradley Herbst
Image Source: Bradley Herbst

I totally get it — when I tell my kids their time is up on phones and tablets, I’m immediately met with grunts and eye rolls. They effusively complain about how bored they are. But the fact that they think they can’t possibly survive another moment without YouTube or Snapchat is beyond me. This is usually the time I make some sort of veiled threat about bad attitudes and confiscating their electronics forever. We both know it’s a lie, but as long as I look reasonably confident as I say it, it doesn’t seem like a total bluff.

All joking aside, there are very real consequences to kids having too much exposure to screen time. According to the Standard-Times, the overuse of electronic devices can have a negative impact on a child’s social development.

“This includes the ability to make friends in person, take responsibility for actions, display good manners, use polite language, control emotions and temper, follow verbal directions, and develop empathy for others,” the study notes.

Researchers also found that some children who regularly use the Internet and play video games display more anxiety and depression than those who limit screen time.

Bradley Herbst
Image Source: Bradley Herbst

Herbst said his daughter has learned a valuable lesson about social media from all the attention they’ve received since going viral.

“She learned how social media can change everything with one post in a good way, or more importantly, a negative one,” he tells Babble.

In the end, Herbst got what he was looking for — much needed father-daughter time and a new tradition they will never forget! I guess you can say this dad’s got it all figured out.

Related Post
19 Things I Wish I'd Known as an Awkward, Pimple-Faced Teen

I’m a Newly Single Mom in Her 40s, and I’m Not Sure I’ll Ever Date Again

Image Source: Katie Smith

The last time I went on a first date, the year was 1998. My future husband walked into a party I was at with a bunch of friends from work, leaned against the door wearing a checkered flannel shirt, and said, “Hi, I’m Frank.” Then I didn’t see him for the rest of the night.

Well, not until I was about to leave, and he decided to join me on the dance floor.

A few weeks later, he called and asked me out to dinner. He said his friend had told him he better go get a dance with me before I left, and that he almost didn’t because he felt shy, but was so glad he did. After that night, we were exclusive. I haven’t put my hands on another man since.

My ex has started dating again, which prompted my daughter to ask me if I was ever going to. She was curious about what kind of man I would like.

I told her not for a while, and laughed — partly because it was awkward, but mostly because I’m at a loss when it comes to dating these days.

“Good, I can’t imagine a greasy guy walking around here,” she said, as we stood together in our kitchen.

Does this mean I have to start waxing again? I hear through the grapevine it most certainly does.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

I am sure the dating game has changed a bit in the past two decades; especially for a woman in her 40s who has three kids. And I just … have so many questions.

Does this mean I have to start waxing again? I hear through the grapevine it most certainly does. What if I want to sleep with a man just for the sake of having great sex? Is that acceptable for a woman like me — a mom with three teenage kids? Believe me, I’ve asked around, and was met with the same answer I got about waxing: it most certainly is.

At this point in my life, it all sounds very appealing; but it also feels so foreign. How nice would it be to meet someone for a cheeseburger, have an afternoon delight, go our separate ways, and meet up again if we both want to? You know, without all the complicated stuff that gets tangled up in dating and relationships.

If you ask me, very.

You see, it’s the “dating” part that I’m just not sold on. For starters, I don’t think I could ever date someone who lives too close to me. What if they stop by on a random Tuesday, or think I spend too much time working, or with my kids, or that I have my ex over for dinner too often?

I’m not sure if it’s a general lack of interest, or if I’m just being selfish. Or lazy. Or worse, maybe I’m just scared to death that I suck at relationships altogether.

Honestly, it’s probably a mixture of all of the above.

Image Source: Katie Smith

I realize I don’t have to figure this all out right now, and that meeting a handsome man in a diner or out for a drink will only lead to dating if we both want it to. But there are days when I strongly feel I’ll just never get to a place where I am ready, and I wonder if maybe that’s because there’s still some left-over hurt standing in my way. Hurt that I haven’t yet dealt with.

Right now, I’m enjoying being alone; my focus is on my kids and my career. I am comfortable here. And not only am I afraid that feeling won’t go away, but I’m afraid that if the feelings do go away, I’ll just talk myself out of putting myself out there, because I am really bad at giving myself to another person. A failed marriage can do that to a person.

Sometimes I think I’ll just wait this thing out, and go back to dating when my youngest goes off to college — eight years from now.

When I said this to my sisters and a few close friends, they told I was being ridiculous. “If you want to date, you should,” they told me.

Right now, I need to find my happily ever after with myself before I can invest in another person.
Share Quote
Facebook Pinterest

I mean listen, don’t get me wrong — I rather enjoy men; they are delicious and fun. They smell good, and I like it when someone I’m attracted to puts their hand on my knee while we’re in the car.

I like cooking for them. I like facial hair and boxer-briefs.

It’s just that right now, I am exactly where I want to be. Right now, I like not having to wax. I like not wondering if some guy I just met will call, or what I should say if I want to have a wild time with someone, but don’t want to do the sleepover thing.

Right now, I like being alone with my three kids and putting on my pajamas at 4 PM if I choose. Right now, I need to find my happily ever after with myself before I can invest in another person.

There will be plenty of time to figure it out, and when I am ready, I will know.

But that day is not today.

Related Post
Dating After Divorce Means Showing Your Saggy Mom Boobs to Strangers