May 4, 2017

This Dedicated Teacher Finished Her Lesson Plan — While in Labor!

Being a teacher is an all-consuming job. It requires long hours, intense dedication, and so much patience. No one knows that better than teacher and mother of four Jennifer Pope.

Just last week, Pope was working studiously on lesson plans for her second-grade class. This would have been an average day in a teacher’s life, except that Pope was in labor at a Texas hospital while she was working!

Pope’s dear friend, photographer Andrea McDonald, captured and shared the candid moment on Facebook. Pope had no idea her friend had even taken the photo of her working until after she gave birth! In the post McDonald writes, “No, she is not doing her taxes. Those papers would be her lesson plans her husband is about to go drop off with her sub in the parking lot.”

With Teacher Appreciation Week fast approaching, McDonald saw Pope’s selfless moment as a loving reminder to everyone to appreciate the hardworking educators in their lives. She continues, “Spoil them rotten because even in labor, they care. No lie, she gave birth less than an hour later. This post is about showing the dedication of a teacher.”

As expected, the post has gone viral, with over 21K likes, 7K shares, and nearly 800 comments with educators, moms, and many others pouring out support for this phenomenal teacher.

One educator writes underneath the photo, “There’s nothing we won’t do for our kids, at home, and at school!” Another user comments, “Thank you to the educators on this thread. I am brought to tears knowing that you all care so much.” While a teacher who had a similar experience cheerfully shares, “Been there! I did my final grades between contractions. Way to go! You are amazing!”

image source: Andrea McDonald | Rooted in Love Photography

For Pope, the moment symbolized everything she already knows about teaching. She and her husband, fellow teacher Andrew Pope, have spent years embracing the emotional bond educators like her have with their students. That bond is one that often goes beyond the average work day and impacts nearly every aspect of a teacher’s life. 

“Teachers are never fully disconnected from their job. Even on maternity leave or in the summer, we have a responsibility to our students and their families,” she shares with Babble. “There is so much that goes on outside of the normal school day that teachers do to benefit their classroom and their students. But, also it’s not just a job to many of us. It’s a part of who we are.”

As a working mom, Pope knows all too well how challenging the juggle of her job and family can be. The recent birth of her daughter Clara has added one more adventure to her already jam-packed days. But she simply cannot imagine another way to live her life, telling Babble, “Being a working mom is hard, like really hard. But, it’s also very fulfilling and rewarding. I can’t imagine myself not teaching.”

image source: Andrea McDonald | Rooted in Love Photography

A teacher herself for six years, McDonald was all too happy to show her dear friend’s dedication to her students in the moment she photographed. And she’s even happier to see the positive impact that moment had on many others.

“I have loved the overwhelming positive response. So much of what a teacher does after hours goes unnoticed, McDonald tells Babble. “When I posted it, it was teacher after teacher sharing similar experiences of what they did for their students. It’s one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs.”

For devoted teachers, Pope is living proof that the job never ends. And for moms everywhere, she has reminded us that caring for our children is a superhuman effort. And that effort is worth every ounce of praise it receives.

Thanks to Jennifer Pope and all of the teachers in our lives for going above and beyond the call of duty to be there for our children!

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Facebook Group Bans Together, Donates 12 Gallons of Breast Milk to Mom with Cancer

When Sarah Murnane found out last week that her dear friend had been diagnosed with breast cancer, she wanted to do something — anything — to help her out. It wasn’t long before she had her answer.

Murnane, a photographer, mom of two, and breastfeeding advocate, is the founder of The Australian Breastfeeding Project, which showcases her gorgeous photographs of breastfeeding moms in an effort to “to erase the negative stigmas that surround breastfeeding,” according to her Facebook page.

Murnane tells Babble that one of the most heartbreaking aspects of her friend’s diagnosis was that she’d need to stop breastfeeding her 6-month-old son in order to begin treatments — and that’s when the two moms came up with a plan.

“A week-and-a-half ago, my friend was diagnosed with breast cancer,” Murnane tells Babble. “As soon as she found out, she knew that meant she would have to stop breastfeeding. She messaged me to ask if I could help find donor milk.”

Soon after, Murnane put out a call for breast milk donations to the local moms on her Facebook page.

“It is with tears in my eyes that I put a call out to help one of my close friends find donor milk for her little boy as she has been diagnosed with breast cancer,” the post began. “The project will be donating a deep freezer which I am hoping we can fill with donor milk. Her son has no intolerances but would prefer smoke, alcohol, and medication free.”

The response was so huge that Murnane had to set up a separate Facebook group just to manage the influx of donations. Within 24 hours, Murnane had received an astronomical amount of milk donations — enough to fill a deep freezer, which was also generously donated to the mom.

“Our sisterhood of milky mummas!!!” Murnane wrote in a follow-up Facebook post the next day. “I am so extremely proud of our ABP tribe; not even 24 hours and I have received this in donations for my beautiful friend. Thank you, this project is so much more than beautiful photos.”

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Murnane tells Babble that within four days of putting the call out, the moms had donated a whopping 45 liters of breast milk (that’s equivalent to almost 12 gallons!). And even more is on its way. Incredible, right? Murnane’s friend, whose name she has asked to withhold, is hoping to have a six-month supply of breast milk for her little guy. And if the momentum keeps going the way it has, it’s quite possible that she will.

As for how Murnane’s friend is doing now, Murnane shares with Babble that she is obviously having a tough time processing her diagnosis and mourning the loss of the breastfeeding relationship she envisioned with her baby, but that these milk donations are lifting her spirits.

Image Source: Sarah Murnane

“She has been so extremely grateful, [but] understandably devastated she can’t feed her youngest as she did with her older children,” Murnane shares with Babble. “She was relieved that she could give him the next best thing.”

While the journey ahead is definitely going to be difficult for Murnane’s friend, it sounds like she has a strong support system in place, and we hope she recovers quickly and as easily as possible.

Also, high-five to all those wonderful moms who went the extra mile for a mama in need — and did so with such speed, compassion, and generosity. You hear a lot about how much bullying and judgment goes on between moms online, but there is also a whole lot of good that can come of online communities like this one. And when it comes out to it, mothers are among the strongest, loving, most badass people in the world.

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This Disney Princess-Inspired Maternity Shoot Is the Stuff of Fairytales

I am, admittedly, pretty terrible at taking selfies; which is why during the final stretch of my last pregnancy, I had my husband take some sweet shots of my huge belly, so we could remember the miracle of what a woman’s body goes through in order to bring life into the world. But had I known that there’s a pair of photographers taking unbelievably amazing maternity photos of women dressed as Disney princesses … well, let’s just say I would have hauled my giant self to the Deep South to make sure I got in on this action.

Vic and Marie Luna, a married couple who run a photography business together in Houston, Texas, recently shared a series of breathtaking images they captured of five expecting mothers at Newman’s Castle — where they summoned some serious Disney magic and created gorgeous memories for each of the mothers.

Image Source: Vic and Marie Photography

“It was so much fun!” Marie tells Babble. “I literally felt like I was hanging with royalty when I saw them for the first time in the gowns and in hair and makeup! They looked incredibly amazing!”

The five women each wore form-fitting dresses in pastel colors inspired by famous Disney Princesses — from Belle to Jasmine to Snow White. These visual cues give the viewer a wonderful sense of storytelling, which is a huge part of the Lunas’ creative process.

Image Source: Vic and Marie Photography
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Image Source: Vic and Marie Photography

“We really hope that [everyone who sees] our images will make their own story, envision their own happily ever after for our mommies, and be inspired to think outside of the box and capture things that have never been done before,” the couple shares.

Of course, the true magic of these images isn’t in the dresses or the majestic castle in the background, but rather the beauty and excitement of pregnancy. People love maternity photos — and for good reason.

“We believe that it shows the beauty and essence of the bond between a mommy and their unborn child,” they tell Babble. “It’s a beautiful and fleeting moment that you only get one chance to capture, and once the little one is born, it’s gone. It’s a little heartbreaking for some of our mommies because they love the kicks and movements inside of them, and it’s so amazing to see them for their maternity session, and a month or two later we see them with a cute little baby in their arms at our studio getting their very first portraits with us.”

Image Source: Vic and Marie Photography
Image Source: Vic and Marie Photography
Image Source: Vic and Marie Photography

And while the Disney-inspired photo shoot is breathtaking all on its own, the Lunas seem to be well-versed in all kinds of out-of-the-box maternity shoot themes.

“In the past, we’ve done ‘Glamour Downtown’ group maternity shots, as well as a few other group maternity projects,” they share. “This one was probably the one that really brought us outside of our element because it was something that not many had taken a hold of as of yet. We can only hope that our next group project will be even more amazing than our last!”

We sure hope so, too.

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Sometimes I Fear I Wasn’t Meant to Be a Mother

Image Source: Thinkstock

“Sometimes I Fear I Wasn’t Meant to Be a Mother” originally appeared on Perfection Pending under the same title. It was reprinted here with permission.

Sometimes I fear I wasn’t meant to be a mother.

Just typing those words leaves me feeling empty and scared. I know I will be judged for them by the childless, the sanctimommies, and the empty nesters who say with a hand over their heart, “But it goes so fast!”

As I sit on my couch trying to think my own thoughts, three tired children who went to bed way too late last night creep up beside me. They peer over my shoulder at whatever it is I’m trying to work on, and muster the same tiresome words I’m sick of hearing: “I’m bored.”

I groan inside, feeling guilt that I should be the one entertaining them, while simultaneously feeling resentment that I can’t even focus without interruption long enough to write a sentence. I don’t want to play with the 4-year-old who begs me to play with him relentlessly, and I wonder if my personality was really meant for motherhood.

As a young girl, I always pictured myself as a mother. Doing better than my own mother did, of course. Ridiculously, I even pictured myself as a mother of eight children at one point in young adulthood. I felt confident that I would be patient, and never let them eat sugar, and love cooking, and always taking care of a house.

It’s all I wanted, really.

But, as I feel suffocated by the push and pull of motherhood, I wonder if I was really ever meant to do this. If maybe motherhood isn’t in my DNA, because I don’t love playing CandyLand with my 4-year-old, and my 10-year-old doesn’t talk to me when I want her to, and the weight of my 7-year-old’s anxiety issues is always in the back of my mind.

I recently went on a trip for the first time in 8 years; just my husband and I, without our kids. It was dreamy. A trip to NYC, a hotel with fancy white robes, and an ease of travel that just doesn’t come with three kids in tow. We ate good food, and slept in as late as we wanted, and meandered down the streets of the Upper West Side carrying fresh flowers and walking hand in hand. I felt more easy going and relaxed. More like myself.

And, days after we were home, as I felt the tension in my neck start to build and a relentless dull headache that I can’t seem to shake day after day, I feared again that maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mother. After all, I was so much better on that trip with my husband when I wasn’t mothering.

I started to look back at that trip like a dream, unable to recognize the woman that let her husband call the shots, and didn’t stress about hiccups in the trip because she knew she was being taken care of. The one who wasn’t in charge of anything, or anyone. It didn’t seem real how I sat on a park bench in the sun, with my headphones in. My husband snapped a photo of me because I “looked like a New Yorker” in that moment; happy and at ease in a giant city of chaos.

The weight of my responsibility is weighing me down, making me question if I was ever in fact, meant to do this at all.
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I feel sad when I reject my children’s advances for attention when I have something I’d rather be doing, and tell myself that other mothers probably want to play with their kids, so why don’t I? Obviously it’s because I wasn’t meant to be a mother.

The weight of my responsibility is weighing me down, making me question if I was ever in fact, meant to do this at all. Someone else would definitely do it better, and someone else that loves to play candy land would be a better mother to my kids.

After all, I felt more like myself when I wasn’t mothering. So, what else could that mean, except that maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mother to these three fantastic human beings?

Except.

Except, I don’t believe I am supposed to be the person I was before becoming a mother. That’s the thing. I think mothering my three fantastic small humans is supposed to transform me into something better. And transformations aren’t supposed to be easy.

The guilt I feel is self-imposed and unnecessary. One of the countless lessons I’ve learned from motherhood is that I need to try to give myself the gift of true, beautiful acceptance of who I am.

Why were these precious children given to imperfect, broken me? Who the hell knows.
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Mothering is hard for me. I struggle. I make mistakes. I don’t love playing make-believe with my kids. But, I also do a lot of things right. And, accepting that this mother — me; my broken, imperfect, high-anxiety self — is meant to mother the three beautiful souls I’ve been given … well, that’s part of the reason why I’m meant for motherhood.

Why were these precious children given to imperfect, broken me? Who the hell knows.

But, I guarantee that I’m learning as much raising them as they are learning being raised by a woman in a constant transformative state of being. In fact, I know I am.

If I were to make a list of the lessons I’ve learned, and the ways I’ve changed, it would be long — and breathtaking I’m sure. But, I’m too tired to make lists, and I’m too overwhelmed to remember how far I’ve come. So I’ll keep fighting those feelings of inadequacy day by day, hour by hour as they rush in during a moment when I feel selfish and don’t want to play a game.

The weight I add to this whole motherhood thing is probably too great if I am being truly honest. Sure, mothers have an important job, but deep down, I realize that much of who my children will become has nothing to do with me. And, when I think about it, they will spend many more years away from my care than in it. It’s heartbreaking to think about. In fact, I can’t think about them leaving me without feeling like a piece of me will die when that happens.

Which just proves me wrong yet again.

If I feel that way, then I am meant to be a mother. So I can become who I’m supposed to be. Transformed into a woman far more beautiful than who I was before.

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At This UK Hospital, Parents Care for Their Preemies Themselves — and the Babies Are Thriving

Image Source: Thinkstock

One of the most difficult aspects of having a premature baby in the NICU is how helpless and disconnected parents can end up feeling. It can be traumatizing to see your baby hooked up to all kinds of machines, and for others to be in charge of their round-the-click care. Of course you want your baby to receive all the life-saving medical attention they need, but you also want nothing more than to scoop them up in your arms and simply go home.

But that’s precisely what one hospital in the UK is trying to change, with a new program that allows __parents to become a whole lot more involved in caring for their preemies. According to the BBC, St James’s University Hospital in Leeds is the first hospital in the UK to implement what’s being called a “family integrated care system.”

The innovative program puts __parents in charge of caring for their preemies — at least when it comes to the majority of their care — instead of nurses and other medical staff. If all of that sounds sort of worrisome to you, here’s why it shouldn’t: parents receive a thorough training, and are watched over carefully until they get it right. A few weeks in, they become pros at it all, and are expected to do most of the everyday care for their preemies, including temperature taking, feeding, and even inserting nasogastric feeding tubes.

Dr. Liz McKechnie, a neonatologist at St. James’s Hospital, recently told the BBC that the program’s ultimate goal is to put the parents at “the very center of the team caring for the baby.”

McKechnie assures that the program was not put in place to cut costs, and that nurses have not been fired as a result. In fact, the nurses in the ward probably spend more time training the parents than they would simply caring for the babies themselves. And so far, it’s certainly paid off.

The hospital says the results have been pretty incredible so far, with breastfeeding rates increasing, babies making strides in their long-term development, and many going home much sooner than expected. And the parents of these sweet babies are seeing (and feeling) wonderful results, as well.

“It is just nice to feel like a mum, rather than just somebody watching,” Anna Cox recently shared in an interview on the Victoria Derbyshire Show.

Cox’s daughter Lola was born at just 23 weeks. Sadly, Lola had a twin brother who didn’t make it. Cox was told that her daughter would have a very tough road ahead of her, and might not make it herself.

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“During labor, one of the neo-natal consultants came to see us and painted a really bad picture that she could have all sorts of problems,” Anna shared.

But thanks to the gentle and highly-attentive care Cox was able to give her daughter at St James’s, Lola got to go home much earlier than expected, just 14 weeks after she was born.

“Without the family integrated care we would’ve been in a lot longer,” says Cox, “Lola is still on oxygen and [otherwise] they wouldn’t have allowed us to come home with that. I feel really confident in everything they taught us.”

Although the program is new to St. James’s Hospital, it’s not an entirely novel idea. In the 1970s, a hospital in the Soviet Union actually stumbled upon the idea of “family integrated care” by accident. According to the BBC, the Soviet Union was facing all sorts of budget cuts, and began to give parents a greater role in the NICU out of necessity.

But they soon found that babies were thriving as a result. Just as the parents at St. James’s Hospital have seen, Russian parents reported higher rates of “skin-to-skin” time with their babies, increased breastfeeding rates, and their babies went home sooner.

As the BBC points out, St. James’s isn’t the only hospital that has tried this program out. Hospitals in Canada, Australia, and New Zealand have adopted versions of the program as well, with promising results.

To some, a program like this might sound dangerous, or possibly too time consuming for parents, especially if they have other responsibilities like full-time jobs and other children. But the program at St. James’s is so successful that it looks like it’s here to stay.

“Nobody wants to stop it, it is definitely here to stay, everybody can see the benefits of it,” shared Dr. McKechnie. “The fact is that families are going home more confident and more able to care for their babies, and that means a lot.”

Here’s hoping similar programs open up across the U.S. soon enough!

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Chris Pratt on the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’ Scene That Made Every Parent Tear Up

Editor’s Note: Babble and Marvel Entertainment are a part of The Walt Disney Company.

guardians of the galaxy
Image source: The Walt Disney Company

There’s a scene in Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 where Peter Quill (aka Star-Lord) is sitting in his starship listening to some tunes on his “new” Zune. Baby Groot climbs up on Peter’s lap and asks for the headphones to listen along with him. In that moment, a quiet yet powerful transformation takes place for Peter as he realizes the gravity of what it means to be a parent.

At the press conference for Guardians, Chris Pratt (Peter Quill) shares what was going through his character’s mind during that scene:

“I’m thinking about the relationship I had with the man who raised me (Yondu, played by Michael Rooker), and it’s in that moment I realize that I’ve now entered the chapter in my life where I’m going to be the man who’s raising somebody,” he notes.

It’s safe to say Pratt could easily be connecting Quill’s sentiments to his own experience with his sweet son, Jack. He continued:

“And you know, I’m going to have to make some choices on how I’m going to be, what I’m going to take with me, because that’s how I was raised and also what I won’t do because that’s how I was raised. And I think that’s sort of the journey that every parent will take when they have a kid, and I think Quill kind of gets to that.”

Hearing Pratt say those words, I couldn’t help but think of my own similar moment of realization. My wife Cassie and I had been preparing for the birth of our baby girl Emma for nearly nine months. Even before that, we had talked about having a child of our own. When I married my wife, I also became a stepparent to her daughter, Eve. I cherished her, but I wasn’t prepared for the shift that happened the moment I first held Emma’s hand.

She had been born mere minutes before and was sitting in a warming station as they were cleaning her off. I placed my pinkie finger inside of her tiny hand and she immediately grabbed hold of it. It was then, I knew: it was my time to make those decisions for my life and for hers. It wasn’t that I hadn’t given my all to Eve, but like for Peter in the film, I realized that, like my father was to me, I was now the father to this child. As parents, we all experience this revelation whether your child is yours through biology, adoption, or marriage.

Which is not to say I haven’t made my share of mistakes (sorry, girls), because I have. Each of your children is different and sometimes need you to be a different dad to them. Eve is lucky to have her biological dad active in her life so for her, I have more of a supporting role. But for Emma, I’ve been her primary caregiver since birth. Having had the privilege of being a stay-at-home dad for nearly the first two years of her life, my role is different.

But who I am and what I bring to the table is all up to me.

As a father, you can only prepare so much. You can read books, go to parenting classes, and attend support groups, but eventually the training wheels come off and you’ve just got to step up and do it. You’ll fall down at times (again, sorry girls) and you’ll make mistakes. But if you get up and learn from the past, carrying with you what helped you succeed while leaving behind what held you back, you’ll be a better parent for it … at least I hope so.

You’ll have to ask my own Baby Groot someday.

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Here’s Why You Should Never Judge a Parent Whose Kid Is Glued to Their Tablet

eden strong son on tablet
Image Source: Eden Strong

“I’m amazed at how much time kids spend on their tablets these days,” the waitress said, without even attempting to hide her disdain. And then — after slipping a children’s menu in between my 5-year-old son’s face and the tablet he was intensely focused on — she turned her eyes towards me, smirked, and added sarcastically, “I’m guessing he doesn’t want any crayons?”

Listen lady, don’t judge me, I thought to myself. But the truth is, I’ve had that thought way too many times on this topic.

I’ll admit it; I’m that mom. The one who takes her children to the park, and doesn’t mind if her kid sits on the bench and plays on his tablet the entire time. The mom who brings it along on family outings, or social functions, and never forgets the charger. In fact, a few months ago, I took my 5-year-old son to an amusement park, handed him a tablet, and my husband pushed him around in a stroller all day so that he could focus on his games without walking into anything (or anyone). You can’t even imagine the dirty looks that people gave us.

But what people didn’t know, was that the stroller-and-tablet combo was providing a much-needed break for my son. A break he often needs when his brain is overwhelmed by the effects of his epilepsy.

There are moments when he needs to be able to tune out the world, and focus on one thing. When he’s been up all night seizing and is exhausted, dazed, and grouchy as hell. Or when his tiny little brain is gearing up to seize again, and he isn’t in a position to be interacting with other people, or process the environment around him.

There are times when he just needs everyone and everything to leave him alone.

Sometimes, he just needs his tablet, and when that happens, what he doesn’t need, is to be judged. And I don’t need to be judged, either.

I was never planning to be a ‘screen time’ mom … But then my kids were born, and reality set in.
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Seriously, when did other people become an expert in parenting my children, or any other children than their own?

For the record, I was never planning to be a “screen time” mom. Before I had kids, I had visions of homeschooling my little people, and only letting them watch an hour of TV on the weekends. I figured that I was going to be a Pinterest mom, and we were going to be an outdoorsy family; always on the move with another adventure in sight. I was certainly never intending to take a tablet along on a nature hike.

But then my kids were born, and reality set in. What they needed was not what I had expected, and so, I adapted.

Then, when epilepsy came along, I adapted again. I changed my idea of how I had planned to raise my son — and what I assumed and expected he would need — and instead, I gave him what he actually needed. Because I am his mother, and that is my job.

And yes, it was a struggle to accept.

It’s not easy raising kids with special needs, especially when I have another child with a genetic disorder, and have spent most of the time as a single parent (which I was also not expecting to do). But harder yet, is not feeling supported by my fellow mothers.

I see your glares, the ones you give me in shock and awe when we visit the library, tablet in hand. I know you are judging me when you throw in your little comments of “my-my, he sure is into that, isn’t he?”

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Yes, he is, because it’s what he needs right now. He needs a break from life, and I need a break from the judgement.

Some days I aim for the moon, and settle for a tablet in the middle of a children’s museum instead.
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Epilepsy aside, sometimes we all just need a break — whether it’s children with special needs, or their overwhelmed __parents who cannot fathom being “on duty” for one more minute; couples desperate to reconnect over adult conversation, or children that have missed naps and are grouchy beyond being reasoned with.

If a tablet can calm temporarily calm a difficult situation, then I say more power to you! I won’t judge you for a minute, or assume that just because I see your kid on a tablet, that it’s the only thing they ever do.

My life cannot always stop just because my son needs a break. Epilepsy is unpredictable and I would be chained to the house if I halted my life because of it. That is not a luxury I have with another child to attend to, and things that I need to get done. It’s not even what I want for my son. But this is his life, and I want to immerse him in all its experiences, as much as I can; even if that means that some days, it’s only absorbed in glimpses when he looks up from a screen.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, and right now, this is the best solution that I can come up with. It’s not perfect, but it works for us, and if there’s anything that I’ve learned over the course of my parenting career, it’s that sometimes, you just throw out the plans you had, and do what works best for your kids.

Some days I aim for the moon, and settle for a tablet in the middle of a children’s museum instead. And if I see you there, doing the same thing, I won’t judge you for it.

I trust you, because you know your kids better than I do.