Oct 28, 2016

Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week

Image Source: Babble
Image Source: Babble

If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 140 characters? Not us. So here you go, the funniest tweets from __parents on Twitter this week. #yourewelcome

1. Well that’s a tough one.

Parenting Tip: Be prepared to answer tough life questions from your child, because "What's your favorite kind of brick?" will come up.

— Vote Meh! (@TheAlexNevil) October 27, 2016

2. It’s just so much effort, you know?

Major disappointment for a teen: not being invited to a party.
Major disappointment for an adult: being invited to a party.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) October 26, 2016

3. Five millionth time’s a charm.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again 5 million times.

*my kids asking for snacks*

— Iwan (@IwanWil) October 25, 2016

4. Well that makes things a little more difficult.

My 3yo: Help I dropped a coin in the toilet come and get it out.

Me (looks): I can't see anything in there.

3: That's because I flushed.

— Phil (@geowizzacist) October 28, 2016

5. Mom or servant? It’s hard to tell.

"My kids have no control over me," I say as I pick out only the T-Rex-shaped chicken nuggets for my 3yo's dinner.

— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) October 27, 2016

6. Sorry, but it’s just so cold in the bleachers.

You're not a real parent until you've secretly wished your child's sports team does bad in a tournament so you can go home early.

— Jules (@julie2288) October 22, 2016

7. Cheese puffs: worth it.

Buy towels that are light in color so you can easily be reminded of how frequently you purchase cheese puffs.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) October 26, 2016

8. It sounds very freeing.

May your day be filled with the same joy & reckless abandon as my 2yo as he ran down the store aisle knocking 50 cereal boxes to the floor.

— Mama Rises Early (@mamarisesearly) October 22, 2016

9. That’s all we’ve ever wanted.

7: Mommy, can we have a day where we wear pajamas all day and not go outside at all?

Me: *wiping away tear* Yes we can, son. Yes we can.

— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) October 27, 2016

10. Do you really have to, though?

Me: Please don't lick that.

Kid: Why?

Me: Because it's dirty.

Kid: Oh. Can I lick clean stuff? Like the bathtub? …I do that sometimes.

— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) October 24, 2016

11. That big belly is pretty useful.

I mostly got pregnant again so I could get my portable snack table back.

— ErensDaily (@erensdaily) October 21, 2016

12. Pro parenting.

Say what you want about my parenting skills, but my 6yo just asked "Who's Caillou?" so I must be doing something right.

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) October 27, 2016

13. It’s gonna be great.

Let's get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning you can braid hair while I pack lunches and we can all be late.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 27, 2016

14. And bought all the things.

Sorry kids, you can't go to college. Mommy went to Costco that one time in 2016.

— Graceful AF (@graceful_asfuck) October 21, 2016

15. A truly special time.

"EH EH! LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEAVE IT. LEA…"

Mommy/2yo bonding time.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 27, 2016

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