If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who the time for more than 140 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from __parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome
1. Here we go again.
Sings "Circle Of Life" while cleaning my kids' lunch crumbs from underneath the table as I set it for dinner.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) April 13, 2017
2. We hope it wasn’t cereal.
It’s hard to rush out of the house when your kid insists on eating their entire breakfast with kitchen tongs.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) April 13, 2017
3. Shark Tank, here we come.
The vigor and joy with which my 1yo drinks bath water has me wondering if I should be bottling this stuff and selling it. #dadlife
— AJ (@Sah_Ma) April 11, 2017
4. Who said being grown-ups means we have to kill bugs?
When you're 38 years old and there's a wasp in your bathroom and you make your Dad, who is visiting for the weekend, kill it for you . . .
— Mommy, for real. (@MommyisForReal) April 13, 2017
5. Brilliant.
When I want peace & quiet, I tell my kids it's time to clean the house.
Suddenly, everyone has gone to their rooms.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 13, 2017
6. If only they used that brainpower on homework …
Kids are so thoughtful. But like, thoughtful about YouTube videos and what's for dessert and whether something will fit in their nose.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) April 13, 2017
7. Should we be scared?
My baby just made the same exact sound as the baby raptor hatchling in the original Jurassic Park movie…kinda terrified #fatherhood
— Chris Arroyo (@ChrisArroyo) April 13, 2017
8. When you’re a parent, no bedtime is early enough.
It's 8:57 and Catherine just said, "So much for getting to bed early."
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) April 12, 2017
9. Nice spin.
My kids call it "yelling" when I raise my voice. I call it motivational speaking for the selective listener. #CleanUp #momlife
— Mindy (@luckyterry7) April 8, 2017
10. Obviously.
7YR OLD: daddy, you're ugly
ME: well everyone says you look just like me so…
7: no, ugliness skips a generation
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) April 13, 2017
11. There’s no arguing with that.
5yo at lunch: I'm full.
Me: No you're not. Eat those nuggets you said you wanted.
5: *spills water on plate*
Well played, kid. Well played— Meredith (@PerfectPending) April 13, 2017
12. More of that please.
The four sexiest words a new parent can hear in the middle of the night:
"I'll take this feeding."#parenting #motherhood #fatherhood
— Adam Gaylord (@AuthorGaylord) April 8, 2017
13. It’s so inconvenient, it must be planned.
My kids have made it a life goal to only hug me when I'm mopping or pulling wet laundry from the washer.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) April 11, 2017
14. The flip side of duck lips.
Stop making human lips in the pictures. You look foolish.
– Ducks to their teenage kids
— Dan (@Social_Mime) April 9, 2017
15. Yep, those are on the same level.
I've never been in prison, a mud run, or a street fight, but I do have children.
— Mom Psychologist (@mompsychologist) April 11, 2017