If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who the time for more than 140 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from __parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome
1. Close enough.
6: "I got 2 love notes today. Does daddy write you love notes?"
Me: *looks at text from her dad asking me to stop at Taco Bell.*
"You bet!"— Stacey Sordahl (@DrunkAtThePTA) March 23, 2017
2. #Priorities.
10: *singing* If I had a million dollars.
9: I would spend it all in 2 days
me: I would buy noise cancelling headphones— Alison Tedford (@alliespins) March 18, 2017
3. True.
Being a stay at home mom is a hard job but at least my boss naps twice a day.
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) March 20, 2017
4. We do the best we can, OK?!
As I'm putting in shirt, 5 yr old son: "Why do you wear a bra, mommy?"
Me: "To keep my boobs up."
Him: "You sure?" #DamnKids
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 21, 2017
5. Perfect metaphor.
7yo eating ice cream: what are taxes?
Me *takes cone*: and you owe me even more ice cream.
7yo *cries*
Me: you'll do fine as a grown up
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) March 23, 2017
6. Same.
I have nothing in common with people that don't sing Moana songs while taking a shower.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) March 23, 2017
7. But we never play favorites …
When my son is sick: Omg, baby, what do you need? What can I do for you?
When my husband is sick: Omg, you're dying soooo loudly!— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 20, 2017
8. That sounds like the best game in the world.
My children are playing, "nap". This is not a drill. I repeat, they are pretending.to.nap… #finally #momwin
— Kim (@PeachieMcGee) March 23, 2017
9. At least they’re being healthy?
My kids are fighting over a bag of baby carrots. I'm going to call that a parenting win.
— mycrazywritinglife (@mycrazywriting) March 21, 2017
10. Mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.
My husband brought home chocolate but not enough for everyone. I did what I had to do for the good of the family.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 19, 2017
11. That feels like an even trade.
For every word my kids say to me after 7:30pm I withdraw $5 from their college fund
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) March 20, 2017
12. Mom brain and stealth don’t mix.
A large part of parenting is spent trying to remember where you hid the good snacks.
— Mere (@Does_This_Match) March 22, 2017
13. But Madonna is just so good!
Nothing screams "cool mom" like forcing my kids to listen to my favorite music from my teens.
— Mama babbles… (@mama_babble) March 22, 2017
14. What we would give to sit in a quiet cubicle for eight hours …
Why do you get to have all the fun I ask my husband as he leaves for work.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 24, 2017
15. Moms do have eyes in the back of their head.
Of all the lies I tell my kids, "I can see it from here" is my favorite.
— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 21, 2017