If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who the time for more than 140 characters, anyway? Not us. So here you go — the funniest tweets from __parents on Twitter this week. #YoureWelcome
1. We call shenanigans.
School: Kate feels like she's going to throw up.
Bacon, 2 hotdogs, an outstanding Moana performance – and Ferris Bueller is back at school.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) March 8, 2017
2. Living the dream.
I can't wait to spend my whole afternoon driving my kids to activities that they begged to sign up for and don't want to go to anymore.
— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) March 6, 2017
3. FYI.
Chocolate milk only tastes good if it's in a Ninja Turtles cup, in case you were wondering.
Also, Dad stirs it better.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) March 7, 2017
4. No one will recognize you.
It's easy to go incognito when you're a mom. Just wash your hair and put on real pants.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) March 9, 2017
5. Close enough.
4yo: What's a compliment?
Me: When you say something nice about someone. Try it with me.
4:
M:
4:
M:
4: You don't poke me in the eye?— Mom Psychologist (@mompsychologist) March 9, 2017
6. Bravo.
My 6 yr old just lovingly gazed at his bacon and said "come to me, my sweetie."
And that, friends, is what parenting done right looks like
— Jill Robbins (@JillRobbinsRJAB) March 5, 2017
7. He’s got a bright future ahead of him.
"When do I get to grow a mustache?" -My Son, Future math teacher/trucker/policeman/70s musician/professional wrestler
— charliecapen (@charliecapen) March 5, 2017
8. Big mistake. Huge.
In retrospect, my first mistake was using the word "vegetable" in the same room as my children…..
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 8, 2017
9. Emails rarely get lost these days …
*Receives email about joining PTA*
-Deletes the email
-Shuts down email account
-Burns computerHer: Did you get that email?
Me: No
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) March 9, 2017
10. Parenthood is fun.
Being a parent is just basically walking around the house saying, "Clean up this mess!" until everyone is crying.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 5, 2017
11. Good point.
Listen, moms…don't worry about how you look in a swimsuit, if your kids misbehave enough no one will be judging your appearance.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 7, 2017
12. Agreed.
Babies would be a lot cooler if they could take care of themselves.
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) March 7, 2017
13. Just to clarify …
*Me to my kids in morning
It's not that I love coffee more than I love you, it's just that coffee is sort of mommy's "love on" switch.
— SurvivingMyBoys (@SurvivingMyBoys) March 3, 2017
14. It does, thanks.
You are, most likely, 10% better looking than that picture your kid drew of you suggests.
… if that makes you feel any better.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 6, 2017
15. We’re all mad here.
My descent into madness is just me coming downstairs to my kids every morning.
— Erinem (@Mom_Overboard) February 7, 2017