If you’re a parent with a Twitter account, chances are you tweet about your kids — and often. Some of the things we’ve seen (the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly) are just begging to be shared, and who has the time for more than 140 characters? Not us. So here you go, the funniest tweets from __parents on Twitter this week. #yourewelcome
1. The resemblance is uncanny.
Babies are like whoopee cushions. As soon as I sit down, they make noise.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 2, 2017
2. Our self control is really under-appreciated.
Unconditional love is when your 6yo slurps her soup and you don't desire to slap her spoon out of her hand.
— Zoe vs. the Universe (@zoevsuniverse) January 31, 2017
3. Respect your elders.
Son: you have a gray hair
Me: it's a badge of honor
Son: *looks at head* whoa, you're like some sort of super soldier
Me: go to your room
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) February 2, 2017
4. You never know.
7yo: My new grown-up tooth is sharp
Me: Yup
7: Like, REALLY sharp
Me: Cool
7: Do you thi-
Me: FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU'RE NOT A VAMPIRE
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 3, 2017
5. We’ve all been there.
*rage sings the alphabet song*
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) January 27, 2017
6. So impolite.
Every time my kid spits up I want to shout, “I made that just for YOU!” #momlife #parentproblems
— Pregnant Curmudgeon (@pregnantwhiner) February 3, 2017
7. That smooth jazz is comforting.
22yo me would really be disappointed in how many songs 42yo me likes at the grocery store
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 29, 2017
8. Awkward.
4 just paused for an uncomfortably long length of time when I asked him if he loved me more than Cheetos.
— here comes the son (@idtweetforever) February 1, 2017
9. So it doesn’t get better with age?
I'm never more reminded of how slow time can move than when I'm watching my teenager do anything.
— Sunny Side Up (@MRPisme) February 2, 2017
10. Fake sleeping is our specialty.
Parenting is a whole lot of laying in bed, hoping your spouse gets up to investigate that strange noise.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) January 28, 2017
11. Now that’s just mean.
Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017
12. Truth.
If adulthood had an emoji it would be an iPhone with a cracked screen.
— Amanda B (@amandajpanda) January 31, 2017
13. Aren’t kids grand?
Hearing your kids laughing together is a beautiful thing, until you realize it's conspiratorial laughter and they're plotting against you.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 30, 2017
14. Duly noted.
Toddler struts into my bedroom, announces "I love birthday cake" and leaves.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) January 31, 2017
15. Impressive.
My 6yo has never been so proud of me as when I could finally get all the Disney Princess' names right on the first try.
— SnuggleMummy (@NinsMum) January 29, 2017