Although they’ve changed in form and function since becoming a mother, I’ve found that I still have an arsenal of vices that I turn to when I need help just getting through the day. Granted, I’m no longer staying up all night high on hooch and strange men (not that I ever did that, mom!), but I still find ways to feel a little indulgent every now and then.
Here are all the ways my guilty pleasures and bad behaviors have changed since having kids:
Before kids: Fine wine
After kids: Cheap coffee
Before kids: Sneaking a cigarette
After kids: 10 uninterrupted minutes in the bathroom
Before kids: 5 course meals
After kids: 5-piece McNuggets
Before kids: Girls night out
After kids: Sex and the City marathon
Before kids: Never calling a bad date back
After kids: Ditching a PTA meeting
Before kids: Mind-blowing sex
After kids: Sleeping in a bed with no kids in it
Before kids: Fully loaded two-door sedan
After kids: Tricked out minivan
Before kids: Mani/pedi
After kids: The peace Handy Manny provides
Before kids: Louboutin shopping spree
After kids: Payless BOGO Sale
Before kids: Salon highlights
After kids: Splurging in the $11 home kit
Before kids: Cosmopolitans
After kids: Leftover juice boxes
Before kids: Staying up too late
After kids: Going to bed too early
Before kids: Kissing handsome strangers in the bar
After kids: Stealing kisses from a sleeping baby