I used to know where things were. Everything was in its place and nothing got lost. At most, I would have to look for my keys for five minutes before I tracked them down to a coat pocket or the wrong drawer, and then everything was back in its natural order. But that was before I had kids. Now, losing my keys means an hour of fruitless searching before borrowing my husband’s set.
I will admit that I don’t always have the most organized life, but a big part of the problem is that things never actually STAY where I put them. Instead, I have five built-in suspects to question when things go missing. If we’re lucky, what was lost will be found in the strangest place (as opposed to staying lost forever.) We’ve found food in the bathrooms, laundry in the kitchen, bedding in the backyard … there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason for where and what these kids will lose.
Here are some of the most puzzling examples:
Shoes
I expect the random single sock to disappear, but missing shoes baffle me completely. When deepcleaning the kids’ rooms recently, we turned up 21 single flip-flops. 21. That means that we at one point had 42 pairs of flip-flops, which is enough of a mystery. But losing a shoe? Total enigma.
Coats
If it’s cold enough to send the kids outside fully bundled against winter weather, how on earth do they not notice the conspicuous absence of that outer layer when it’s time to come home again? Same goes for the rest of the winter items – we have mismatched gloves, lost hats and scarves, and proving that their shoe prejudice isn’t just against flip-flops, singular snow boots.
Uniforms
We have a rule about sports and activity uniforms – put it on the washer immediately when we get home so it can be washed in time for the next game. Yet I cannot count the amount of times we’ve dispatched a search party for uniform pieces, hours before game time. At least they’re consistent, if nothing else, because they’ve each lost at least one piece of a team uniform before the first game. And sometimes, they stay lost. Our youngest played an entire basketball season in a black t-shirt because her jersey mysteriously disappeared in route to our house.
Charging cables
We have an official charging station in the foyer. This is where you put your phones and devices when they need to be charged. But the effort and effectiveness of that system is thwarted by the fact that whenever something needs to be charged, the necessary cable isn’t actually there. All of our cell phones, tablets, and gaming systems now share a single charger. I think this is the 2014 version of losing the battery compartment cover.
Game Pieces
It frustrates me to no end that most of our games eventually become unplayable due to missing pieces. We have a game cabinet, and each game has its own box. Yet somehow the pieces never quite make it back to their assigned boxes. Where do they go? I keep expecting to find everything eventually, but I think it’s time I accept the fact that some are just gone forever.
Spoons
I’m not sure how it happens, with strict rules against eating anywhere other than the kitchen, but all the spoons have slowly disappeared. The knives and forks are all accounted for, but the spoon stash has been dwindling for years. How? How is this possible? Where are all the SPOONS?
I’ve turned the house upside-down and right-side-up again in search of these missing items. They’re not behind the couch. They’re not under the bed. And they’re most definitely not where they should be. I’ve given up hope and ended up tossing a lot of things over the years. Maybe I’ll find them all one day, lurking wherever the kids have left my mind.
What’s the weirdest thing your kids have lost? Share it in the comments section!
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