12 years ago my family packed eight suitcases and moved to Somalia. 10 months later, we experienced an emergency evacuation and fled to a new country carrying just one suitcase. For months we lived in a nearly empty home, eating off shared plates, and washing clothes by hand while we slowly accumulated the essentials: beds, stoves, plates, utensils, washing machine, etc.
The house echoed, the empty cupboards sounded hollow, the walls were bare of all decoration. But we had survived the evacuation and the violence that necessitated it. We had passed through fire and learned the powerful lesson that our stuff was meaningless. Our family was everything.
And yet, even as our vise grip on worldly goods had been forcibly loosened, the magnetic attraction between Americans and stuff revived itself and we continued to accumulate. Our house has one closet and a small crawl space under the stairs. This minimal amount of storage space helps reduce, but hasn’t eliminated excess.
Still, when I think of what to give my kids for Christmas, it’s easy to make lists of things they already have in overflowing abundance. More books. More video games. More Legos. More sports equipment. More clothes. More. More. More.
When I dig deeper in my maternal heart, what I really want to give them for Christmas isn’t more stuff – it’s memories and quality family time. The Legos, games, and clothes might all be left behind one day. We’ve learned that lesson well. But the stories we tell of shared experiences grow and brighten and turn into family legend and personal history.
So what can parents give to a kid who “has it all” or at least, “has more than enough?” Here are some ideas:
Instead of yet another Lego set …
Give the gift of Lego playtime. Build all the sets you already own, together.
Instead of another book …
Give the gift of reading and snuggle time. Read one of the books you already own out loud. Chapter books, picture books. Even our teenagers laughed through How the Grinch Stole Christmas this December, and insisted on seeing the pictures like an old-fashioned storytelling.
Instead of a stuffed animal …
Plan a zoo date complete with a picnic lunch and goofy photos of everyone mimicking the monkeys.
Instead of a new CD or iTunes purchase to be listened to behind earphones …
How about tickets to a concert together? (And for teenagers, maybe include a friend – who wants to go to a concert with just mom?!)
Instead of new sports equipment that will get dusty and pile up …
Contribute to soccer lessons or swimming classes. Or tickets to a big game.
Instead of more toys for our own families …
Donate. Take your family to volunteer at a food bank or homeless shelter. Give a Kiva loan to an entrepreneurial woman in Kenya, like our kids did last Christmas with a gift from Grandma.
Instead of new snorkel equipment to replace raggedly old flippers and warped face masks, my husband and I used “experience-gift” money from grandparents to give our children a boat trip to swim with whale sharks. New snorkel equipment will never compare to the spine-tingling awe and joy of watching my teenagers and a 9-year old swim alongside the largest (gentle and toothless) shark in the ocean.
So the next time you’re making a list of possible Christmas gifts, stop and think – what do you want your kids to experience? You don’t necessarily have to rush out to buy something in a plastic package from Target. This year, give the gift of doing something special together.