Minivans get such a bad rap. Everyone thinks they’re overly slow, swerve all over the road, and are strictly reserved for frazzled soccer moms. In my pre-kids life, I used to think that, too. I remember getting so frustrated when I would get stuck behind a minivan on the highway, I would desperately try to get around them (and away from the kid making funny faces at me in the window).
But perspective is a funny thing. Now that the tables are turned, I’m the one frustrated – by YOU. You non-minivan drivers. You people who assume I am going to drive like Miss Daisy, pass me and cut me off, only to go slower than I would’ve driven in the first place! Guess what? My minivan can drive faster than your Camry or Prius any day of the week.
Now that’s not to say I’m going to drive like a lunatic. Heck no, I’ve got precious cargo in the back! But there’s also no ‘Student Driver’ sign on top of my car. In fact, my driving experience spans two decades. I know the rules of the road. It makes me feel old, but I am going to go out on a limb here and tell you that most minivan drivers have at least 10+ years driving experience under their (seat) belt.
There is no bad-driving pixie dust sprinkled on my minivan steering wheel. I’m going to drive the way I always have, minivan or not. I didn’t check my brain at the door, I simply have a new job title – “Mom.” And some of the perks to go with that title include driving a minivan. I didn’t suddenly start to bake cookies every day, wear Mom jeans or become the president of the PTA. In fact, instead of a different person, I became MORE of what I was. My heart grew bigger, my expertise and knowledge on humans smaller than me expanded, and my compassion for booboos grew to new heights.
I am more selfless, a better chef, and can whip out a glitter craft like nobody’s business. I didn’t become a different person, I became a better person. And that included learning how to drive a larger car, with three kids in the back.
So please just STOP. Stop cutting me off just to get in front of me. Stop refusing to allow me to merge properly by speeding up in your lane. And for the love of all that is good and holy, stop following too closely if you think I am going too slow
Why? Because I’ve got my posse with me. You see them, their stick figure portraits are all over my back window. And we will kick your bootay any day of the week. (Ok, more than likely we will just make raspberries at you…but still).
Just STOP.
Because my minivan can drive faster than your Camry. And probably does.