Victoria’s Secret Is Selling a Fantasy, Not Judging Your Reality

What’s also not new is seeing photos of legitimate models all dolled up in not a whole lot trying to sell stuff like bras and panties. While I do expect to find models whose bodies bear some minute resemblance to mine while shopping in catalogs and on sites like Lands’ End or L.L. Bean (which is to say, nowhere near pin-thin), when I’m bra shopping, seeing Gisele Bündchen’s astonishingly chiseled torso and beautiful B-cups staring back at me is par for the course.That’s why when Victoria’s Secret recently launched their “Perfect Body” ads, I wasn’t thrown for a loop. Even my ridiculously fragile self-esteem didn’t take four steps back. I don’t mind looking at beautiful woman. Not every model — naturally perfect or Photoshopped to look it — makes me want to lose my lunch (and breakfast and dinner and the seven snacks in between). Sometimes I appreciate the photography of a campaign, admire the structure of a woman’s face, or see the sexy appeal of her curves. Showing women with seemingly flawless bodies isn’t a knock against my less-than-perfect figure; it’s possible to sell a fantasy without judging my reality.

Even I get that.

Of course Victoria’s Secret is being provocative by using the words “perfect” and “body,” but we all understand that it’s really just about how they’re selling comfortable bras and panties (instead of itchy, lacy, barely there ones) right? It’s just a play on words, not incentive to start a movement against a company. If we get worked up about this, why aren’t we also going after Neiman Marcus for their annual Christmas Book? I can hardly afford the Tanqueray No. Ten Imperial Shaker by Jason Crawley for $35,000 that they’re peddling in the 2014 edition, but you don’t see me picketing them on behalf of my anemic bank account.

And yet, a movement has begun against Victoria’s Secret’s “Perfect Body” ads. People took to Twitter with the hashtag #IAmPerfect to show that they are no Victoria’s Secret model, but they’re still worthy. Which is great and all, but like so many other hashtag campaigns before it, it’s just a thing online. Same goes for this requisite Change.org petition asking Victoria’s Secret to “apologize for, and amend the irresponsible marketing of your new bra,” with the petitioners claiming the campaign’s message is “unhealthy and damaging” to “women’s bodies and how they should be judged.”

In an ideal world, would Victoria’s Secret also use some larger models in their ads, especially in campaigns promoting “perfect body” bras and panties? Maybe? But is that their brand? Nope. Should they change their brand, or should people (like me) who are realistic (albeit eternally sad) about their bodies shop elsewhere? Definitely. Brands like Neiman Marcus (that also includes less expensive items in their Christmas Book) and Victoria’s Secret are aspirational, although that doesn’t also make them unattainable. If the latter were only going after supermodel customers, they wouldn’t also have size 40DDD bras for sale. I have more issues than the Library of Congress, yet I know enough to see that a company that uses faces (and bodies) like Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio as their ambassadors isn’t one that I endeavor to fit in with — ’cause it (literally) ain’t happening. I can buy what they’re selling even if what I’ll be getting won’t turn me into Karlie Kloss; they’re not claiming to sell miracles, just bras.

If we want to make a difference and send a real message about the “Perfect Body” campaign, we might consider not hiding behind a hashtag and an electronic signature and buy our bras elsewhere. Let’s stand up with our wallets and maybe then the folks at Victoria’s Secret will hear our message. But even though Victoria’s Secret may not be in real life the angels they have strutting their stuff in commercials, that doesn’t make them the devil, either.

Image courtesy of Victoria’s Secret

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Follow Meredith on Twitter and check out her regular column on the op-ed page of The Denver Post at MeredithCarroll.com

5 Issues That Matter to Parents on Voting Day

Did you know there’s an election coming up? Yep, it’s tomorrow as a matter of fact. Just in case the rampant ads blaring out of your television and radio every 17 minutes didn’t give you a hint.

I’ll admit that I love campaign season and Get Out the Vote (GOTV) drives … in fact, I think Election Day should be a national holiday. But even though I get excited for a good election year (in this case, it’s the Midterm Elections), I still get frustrated by the current state of politics in our country, which is why I’ve made a career as a lobbyist to help others be better advocates for themselves and their communities.

For parents, it can be hard to stay on top of all the issues, especially when you’re busy chasing around a toddler. I know it can be confusing and even a little annoying – the barrage of ads, emails, posters and so on. But please, don’t let this stop you from hitting the polls on November 4^th. So many people complain about the issues that plague our country, without being willing to take that first step – voting – in order to make change.

Wouldn’t you rather be part of the solution? Voting is the easiest way to make your voice heard. So to help you get ready to pull that lever on Tuesday, here are a few of the issues that are especially relevant to parents:

1. Paid Time Off for Working Families

The United States continues to lag behind the rest of the world when it comes to quality and equitable family leave, frequently ranking close to last. Family leave policies have not seen significant legislative change since the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA).  The 21-year-old law requires employers to provide their employees with job-protected leave for family and medical reasons including serious illness, birth of a child or the adoption of a child. Though employment is guaranteed, the leave taken remains unpaid.

Family leave and work/life balance do not have a one-size-fits-all solution and this continues to be a bipartisan issue as flexible workplaces and well-compensated employees make for better companies therefore a more robust economy. Senators Deb Fischer (R- NE), Angus King (I-ME) and Representative Martha Roby have all introduced legislation that would provide flexibility and for employees in addition to paid leave. While this issue has remained a priority for the Obama administration, in order for legislation to move forward there needs to be a Congress willing to do the heavy lifting in making work/life balance and paid family and medical leave a reality.

2. Climate Change and the Environment

No matter where you stand on climate change, there’s no debating that it will be a hot ticket on the ballot this November, as members of Congress have introduced almost 70 bills relating to this issue. The current Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) administrator, Gina McCarthy emphasized why this is an especially relevant issue for parents back in June when she announced a Clean Power Plan as part of President Obama’s Climate Action Plan. “Rising temperatures bring more smog, more asthma, and longer allergy seasons,” said McCarthy. “If your kid doesn’t use an inhaler, consider yourself a lucky parent, because 1 in 10 children in the U.S. suffers from asthma. Carbon pollution from power plants comes packaged with other dangerous pollutants like particulate matter, nitrogen oxides, and sulfur dioxide, putting our families at even more risk.”

3. Campus Sexual Assault

According to the United States Department of Justice, around 1 in 5 women (and 1 in 16 men) are targets of attempted or completed sexual assaults. For parents sending their kids to college, the issue of campus sexual assault is even more pressing and making it easier for students to report these crimes is a priority for the United States Senate. Legislative proposals have been introduced to ensure that rate of campus assault are accurately reported to the public, specifically for prospective students and their families. The driving force for the legislation, according the bill’s sponsor, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), is to provide incentive for colleges to fix the increasingly prevalent problem.

4. Education

In the last five years, major changes have been made to the public education system from the Race to the Top program to Common Core State Standards to waivers for the 2001 No Child Left Behind Act. But only one of these programs (Race to the Top) was legislated by Congress and passed into law. Overcrowding, K-12 funding and relentless testing are only a few of the concerns that have been raised.  To date, education remains a key issue in this country, and one that Congress has attempted to address several times to no avail.

5. Medicaid Coverage with Complex Medical Issues

Despite the passage and implementation of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, health care remains a struggle for many families … especially those dealing with a major illness or medical issue. Though Congress is no longer working on health care on the macro level, there have been steps to help individuals with complex medical conditions via legislative means. Proposals such as the Advancing Care for Exceptional Kids Act of 2014 would help coordinate care to ensure optimal outcomes for children with medical complexity in Medicaid, while containing costs. Families with children who receive Medicaid would be able to seek care outside of their current coverage. The legislation would allow hospitals to coordinate care across state lines, which most state-run Medicaid plans are currently unable to do.

What issues are on your mind as we get close to Election Day? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

11 Reasons Why Kids Are the Worst Dinner Dates

Like showering with my wife, taking my 9-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter out to a nice place to eat for a “dinner date” is only good in theory. It never turns out the way I envision and it’s never nearly as fun as I think it will be.

In my head, I imagine going out with my family for a special dinner, a fancy night, sharing an experience that will be treasured forever. In reality, we end up having a night that ranks right up there with some of the worst first dates I’ve ever had. (And I’ve had a lot.)

There are so many not-fun things about a dinner date with my kids that it could fill a book … and that book would be entitled, “Dinner Dates With My Kids Kinda Suck.”

Here is just a small sampling of reasons why:

1. Not once do they ask, “And how was your day?”

2. There is a complete lack of interest in hearing the specials.

3. Looking for stimulating dinner conversation? Not here. There are only so many times you can hear the story of the kid who farted really loud in class.

4. Really poor at choosing a wine that pairs well with the meal.

5. When sharing dessert they completely ignore the concept of “sharing.” It’s basically a free for all, where I’m lucky if I get one bite of the flourless chocolate cake.

6. Three words: Bread. Crumbs. Everywhere.

7. They’re constantly photobombing my stunning food shots for Instagram.

8. The inability to stay awake past 9:30 PM.

9. They both look better than me when dressed up and I JUST CANNOT HAVE THAT.

10. Always want to taste my dish but when I ask for a taste of theirs, they look like I’m about to rob them.

And last but not least…

11. They never ever offer to pick up the check.

Seriously, if you were on a dinner date with an adult who acted like that, the date would be over tout suite. (“Immediately” in French – the only French I know.) But because they are my kids I have to over look their lack of social graces and pretend like I am enjoying their company.

Which, I guess when you think about it, is exactly like what most dinner dates are.

Names and Destiny

It is a regular belief that one’s name determines his/her destiny. This belief has been around for so many years and has been proven true. Once a baby is born, the name given to that child goes a long way in influencing his/her way of life. These days, parents do a lot of research before naming their children because they would not want to contribute to the waywardness of that child. Different cultures has names that influence the destiny of a child that is why parents give their children that has good meaning in their different cultural background. Through finding out the true meaning of your name you can discover your potentials.

 

Although Destiny is a name on its own, it means one’s fate or fortune. It is mostly given to female children but the male version of this name could be Destin, Dustin or Dustan. In most African countries, when a baby is born they are given a name in their dialect and another name in English mainly for public use. Due to the fact that one name is in their dialect it will be difficult for anyone with evil intentions to know the meaning so it is a form of protection.

In Roman countries, names are weighed equally with one’s destiny. It is only those with victorious names that were chosen to be leaders in the Roman Empire. In Europe, Runic systems are used to understand the meaning and personality attached to a name. Each Runic symbol has a special meaning and in order to understand the meaning of your name, you will convert the name to a set of runic symbol and then the personality and attributes of your name will be understood.

 

Scientists has carried out a research and discovered that children with horrible names experience bad luck, they lack self-confidence, come out with low grades and are usually faced with emotional problems. Giving your children unusual and successful names will make them successful in life.

Biblically, names carry spiritual meanings. Even the book of proverbs 22 verse 1 says that a good name is greater than all the wealth one can acquire. Make sure you choose a name not for its literal meaning but for its spiritual meaning because a child’s name goes a long way to impact his/her life.

Before choosing a name for your child, make sure you make your research to find out the meaning of the name so that you will not end up being the cause of your child’s downfall.

CEO’s Innovative Policies Prove Work-Life Balance Can Actually Exist

Jennifer Garner got some golf claps recently when she mentioned how, at a press junket for her most recent film, every reporter asked about balancing work and family, while her husband, Ben Affleck, was not asked the same question by even a single news outlet as he simultaneously promoted his latest movie.

(The smattering of applause might have been a standing ovation if anyone were really worried that two A-list, millionaire movie stars married to each other with the means to have round-the-clock help should they choose to work were in need of some sympathy.)

However, close your eyes and throw a rock (somewhere outside of Hollywood) and chances are you’ll hit someone who works for a company for which work-life balance is an urban legend. For most worker bees, it simply doesn’t exist. That’s why working families — and working moms in particular — struggle so much to stay employed and engaged in their careers while also being present in a meaningful way with their spouses and kids.

In a 24/7 smartphone world, the urge to work late and on weekends and respond to texts and emails at all hours can be hard to resist for fear of falling behind or missing out, particularly if a younger or single co-worker is nipping at your heels. It can be a viscous cycle that ultimately discourages those with career and family ambitions from wholeheartedly pursuing both.

Then you read about someone like Kevin Cleary and it’s as if the actual Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus have knocked on your door with a bottle of Cabernet to let you toast with them to the fact that, indeed, they are real. Cleary is the CEO of Clif Bar and Company, which produces energy bars. He was recently profiled by ABC News, although not because he’s taken the company through tough times to some unprecedented growth (although maybe he has), but because he is blazing a trail for a healthy work-life balance.

Cleary is the dad to three young sons, and in an effort to actually father them in a purposeful and robust way, he is walking the walk and doing his best to ensure his employees who chose to do the same are able to. For starters, employees are paid to exercise each week for two and a half hours in an on-site, company-owned gym complete with a climbing wall. Cleary himself runs 20 miles a week, and when he does it on the clock, he makes sure to “walk back through the company” — sweat and all — because “it’s a good example for me to set for people at the company.”

He doesn’t send out emails at night or on the weekend because “I don’t want to set the expectation that people should be working at 7 or 8 at night. I get home at 6:30. I put the phone in my home office. I leave it there, then I’m just dedicated to my kids. Once a week, I cut out of work early and I’m coaching my twins — they are 6 — their soccer team, and I coach their baseball team. It’s important for people to see me doing that and see it’s okay,” he told ABC News.

Maybe at first blush the idea of working for a company where the person in charge encourages a healthy lifestyle doesn’t seem earth-shattering, but check with the person whom you just hit with a rock (and be sure to apologize, by the way) and chances are, they would love to be employed somewhere in which the expectation isn’t that you’ll be clocked in for a single moment after you’ve already clocked out. And to be paid to exercise? That’s stuff you’d think only models and celebrities get to do. Maybe Clif Bar and Company could be making even more money if the atmosphere at work were a more cut-throat one, or maybe they realized that while operating in the black is necessary, at a certain point, money just isn’t everything.

That it’s a male CEO leading the way is a nice change, too. Speaking to Jennifer Garner’s point (although with the world’s smallest violin playing in the background), it’s nice that there’s good news about what a company is trying to do for families. Also, that it is a man leading the charge in what is often assumed as being something mostly important to women, and he’s being asked how and why he does it all. The only thing that would be better would be if more businesses see the benefit in following Cleary’s lead and creating an environment that encourages productivity, good health, and a life outside of the cubicle — for men and women.

Photo courtesy of ABC News

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Follow Meredith on Twitter and check out her regular column on the op-ed page of The Denver Post at MeredithCarroll.com

12 Witty Responses to “You Have Your Hands Full”

I took the kids for our weekly grocery store run yesterday. I usually try to time it so that I can go by myself (because every mom needs a mini vacation) but that just wasn’t possible this week. As soon as I walked in the door, I saw that it was packed. Grocery shopping is hard enough with three kids, but add a huge crowd in the mix and it becomes a circus show.

I had the baby in a baby carrier, the toddler in the grocery cart, and my oldest pushing the minerature cart next to mine. As I swiveled my way through the crowd trying to scratch things off of my list and get out of the store as quickly as possible, I hear someone speak up from behind.

“You sure have your hands full.” 

I hear this phrase at least once when I’m out with all three kids. It used to have no effect on me. I’d just smile, say yes, and quickly move on. But now that I hear it all the time, the phrase has started to drive me nuts. While I don’t think that the people that say this to me are trying to be negative (although I have had a few that do mean it that way) and are just trying to create conversation, I do think that there are plenty of other things that you can say to a mother who clearly does have her hands full that would be much more helpful to her.

As I stood there in the busy grocery store with all three kids asking for something at once, I thought to myself that I wish I had some sort of comeback to this person that just pointed out the obvious to me. So I enlisted my fellow friends on the Internet to help and here are their witty responses below:

“We just don’t know how to say no.” — Kellyn G.

I seriously laughed out loud at this response. You know some people are thinking it and their “nice” way of saying it is by the “hands full” phrase, so why not point out what they’re really thinking?

“Want to babysit?” — Clarissa L.

Because I’d love a babysitter for these exact moments!

“Not really. My hands are empty.” — Amy C.

An appropriate response for all of the babywearing parents out there!

“It just looks that way cause my hands are small. I can handle way more this this.” — @hiptot

Until you are a parent, you have no idea how much you can hold in your hands or even do with one hand. Even with three kids at the grocery store, I can handle much more than it may seem.

“Yes … my hands and my heart” — @jill_jano

I love this response. During those moments that I seem completely overwhelmed as a mom of three, my heart is still completely full.

“But my heart is fuller.” — @tinico

No matter how full my hands may seem, it will never surpass the amount of love that fills my heart from my three children.

“Yes, the best full possible” — @onemomsworld

I wouldn’t want to fill my hands with anything better!

“Right? Will you take a few?” — @littlehipsqueaks

I’d love to see their response to this. Especially as one is screaming, the other is throwing a tantrum, and the other is begging for more of the food samples in the back of the store.

“Nah. There’s always room for more.” — @thebestpartofme

This is the best response for those that say it to you in a negative way because they think you are crazy for having children.

“Better than empty.” — @barefeetonthedashboard

That’s for sure!

“You need to get a new line.” — @blanqigirls

If I’m feeling extra snappy and know that they are trying to insult me, this is a great line to use.

“Want to lend me one of your empty hands?” — Nicole W.

If only they really could. I’d love if I said this back to someone and they offered to give me a helping hand. That would be a perfect way to help out a parent with their “hands full.”

So what would your response be to the phrase, “You have your hands full?” 

Image courtesy of Lauren Jimeson

The impact of numerology over the names

Whenever an infant is born into a family, it’s a norm to first assess him/her with a name. The name of a person is just not a word to be referred to them but actually is the definition, a description of their personality and the briefing of their traits. It should be made very sure that while naming a person all the necessary measures are taken care of. They say that labeling of a product is done properly to define the quality of that product. The same theory can be applied upon assessing names to the young ones too. The better the name the more illustrative would be the definition.

 

While a lot of people who believe in ancestry, name their children on the basis of their legacy or the family trees, while others who believe in Numerology have different opinions. The people who believe in numerology work and practice a lot with numbers before naming their kids. In numerology each letter of your name is said to have an individual corresponding number. Cornerstone is said to be the first letter in your name while capstone is said to be the last one. Under Numerology the first vowel is also given sheer importance, as it is said to fulfill all your urges and dreams in life. Each and every letter in this section has a meaning of its own and preparing a name with all those combine meaningful letters will eventually make out the best desired result. The sum of the numbers in your birth date and the sum of numbers you make out while naming a person displays a great deal in the character, the future, the strengths and the weakness of an individual. Numerology helps in standing and fighting against all these weaknesses and odds. Believers say that numerology make you achieve whatever you want in life, and not just infants, a lot of people change their names in the later stages of their life too after realizing the problems they are suffering in their lives and in order to fight against them. This concept of Numerology was initially brought up by the Babylonians but gradually everyone started practicing it and eventually it became so popular and effective that now it is practiced across almost all over the world. There might be no scientific proofs about the authenticity of these numerology charts, but people still have faith in ample numbers about the relationship of words and numbers.

 

People also believe that in Numerology the on goings and the redemption is based upon three major factors; the date of birth, the name given to you on your birth and the name you use currently. The third factor can well be managed according to the needs and necessary requirements by the Numerology charts. There are ways to work over your names even if you’re a grown up in order to get over the grey shades you are going through in your personal lives. So everyone needs to go through that Numerology chart while assessing their young ones with new names.

 

Browse through name meaning, rankings, other people's comments, ratings, and other statistics in addition to the name meanings.